The school year is underway and by now your child should be feeling comfortable with their new teacher. Your child’s relationship with their teacher is very important to their academic success. Children who get along with their teachers learn more. They will also feel more confident when asking questions and getting extra help when needed. This will make it easier for them to understand new materials and perform better on tests.
If your child is complaining about their teacher ask for specific concerns. It could be they are just missing their teacher from last year. Teachers want to get along with their students so the goal would be to create trust and kindness by communicating honestly about any concerns that your child may have. First make an appointment with the teacher to communicate the problem. Next discuss both sides of the issue and create a plan with the teacher to give your child more support where there is an academic concern. Follow-up with the teacher after the plan has been in place for a few weeks to see if the changes have helped your child’s academic progress. If there continues to be a concern after a few weeks then ask to meet with the principal or counselor to involve them with the issue. Let your child know that you are all working together to help him be successful at school.
It is also important for your child to be responsible for their part of the learning process. Students should attend class regularly and be ready to learn with the appropriate supplies. They should be prepared and have assignments completed as requested. Students should also display a positive attitude in class every day even though they feel there may be a concern. When everyone works together as a team your child will be successful.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Starting over again
Entering the dating scene after the end of a significant relationship can be overwhelming. There are several things to consider before initiating the dating game. First give yourself time to heal. Whether you lost your partner to death, divorce or a mutual parting you must grieve your loss. Research reports we need six months of healing for every five years you were involved in the relationship. Use your support system of family, friends, faith and counseling to get through this difficult time.
Take time for yourself. Go for a haircut or spa treatment. Head out to the gym for that workout you never had time for. Update your wardrobe and plan an evening out with friends. This time of healing can help you to reconnect with yourself and the things that you enjoy doing.
When you are ready to start dating again let your friends and family know. They may know of a single person that may have common interests that you share. If you are in the age group of 45 to 54 years you are more likely to meet a partner online. Harris Interactive surveyed 10,000 people who married in the United States in 2006 and 2007; found 31% from 45 to 54 years met online. Only 18% aged 20 to 44 years met online. Younger adults were still meeting at college, work, and other functions.
If you are a single parent it will be important to discuss dating with your children. Let them know that you are making new friends and just enjoying their company. Then do not introduce prospective partners to your children until you are sure that you are both committed to the relationship. You don’t want to hurt or confuse your children by having them becoming attached to someone you are dating who has no intention of a future commitment.
Dating can be fun and discouraging. Start with casual activities like a coffee at the bookstore or a drink after work. Try to enjoy your new found freedoms of being single. Dating is an important part of the courtship journey. Just relax and have fun.
Take time for yourself. Go for a haircut or spa treatment. Head out to the gym for that workout you never had time for. Update your wardrobe and plan an evening out with friends. This time of healing can help you to reconnect with yourself and the things that you enjoy doing.
When you are ready to start dating again let your friends and family know. They may know of a single person that may have common interests that you share. If you are in the age group of 45 to 54 years you are more likely to meet a partner online. Harris Interactive surveyed 10,000 people who married in the United States in 2006 and 2007; found 31% from 45 to 54 years met online. Only 18% aged 20 to 44 years met online. Younger adults were still meeting at college, work, and other functions.
If you are a single parent it will be important to discuss dating with your children. Let them know that you are making new friends and just enjoying their company. Then do not introduce prospective partners to your children until you are sure that you are both committed to the relationship. You don’t want to hurt or confuse your children by having them becoming attached to someone you are dating who has no intention of a future commitment.
Dating can be fun and discouraging. Start with casual activities like a coffee at the bookstore or a drink after work. Try to enjoy your new found freedoms of being single. Dating is an important part of the courtship journey. Just relax and have fun.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Teen dating violence
Parenting a teenager has always been challenging but with the technology available today it has increased the difficulties. Cell phones, PDAs and the internet can keep teenagers in constant communication with each other. A recent study found that 93% of teens use the internet, 72% own a desktop computer and 67% have their own cell phones. More than half of 12 to 17 year olds who use the internet also have a profile on Facebook or Myspace. This technology has exposed teenagers to cyberbullying and digital dating abuse. Digital dating abuse has been defined as when one member of a teen couple starts to pressure or disrespect the other with a mode of technology.
Today 47% of 11 to 14 year olds are in a dating relationship. Sex is considered part of the tween dating relationships. This early sexual activity appears to fuel dating violence and abuse among teenagers. The 15 to 18 year olds are reporting significant levels of abusive behavior that extend from electronic abuse of rumors, embarrassing pictures or videos, verbal bullying and physical abuse. Parents seem to be in the dark about these behaviors but there are several resources that are trying to break the cycle by educating the parent and teenagers about their options.
Teen abusers are known to want constant control over their partner night and day. Teens report they are called or sent a text message 30 times an hour asking them where they are or what they are doing. This usually occurs between midnight and 5:00 A.M. They also monitor their dating partner on Facebook or Myspace pages. Most teens post enough information on their webpage to allow anyone with access to find them at anytime during the day. An abuser can use their own webpage to post personal information or unwanted pictures about their dating partner.
Parents can initiate several steps to protect their tween or teenager from digital abuse. You can change their cell phone number but this could also escalate the abusive partner. Another option would be to leave the phone active to save the abusive messages and voicemails for future legal action if it becomes necessary. Parents should also discuss with their teenager how the misuse of their webpage can violate their privacy. Review their webpage and explain how to keep their profile private or limit the information that is posted.
Digital violence will only be overcome by educating your teens on how to use technology safely. Parents should discuss their expectations of using technology and the boundaries that must be followed for their teenager’s own protection. Talk to your teenager about respectful relationships and how you will not allow them to be mistreated. In your home and as their role model you can display what a loving relationship should be.
Today 47% of 11 to 14 year olds are in a dating relationship. Sex is considered part of the tween dating relationships. This early sexual activity appears to fuel dating violence and abuse among teenagers. The 15 to 18 year olds are reporting significant levels of abusive behavior that extend from electronic abuse of rumors, embarrassing pictures or videos, verbal bullying and physical abuse. Parents seem to be in the dark about these behaviors but there are several resources that are trying to break the cycle by educating the parent and teenagers about their options.
Teen abusers are known to want constant control over their partner night and day. Teens report they are called or sent a text message 30 times an hour asking them where they are or what they are doing. This usually occurs between midnight and 5:00 A.M. They also monitor their dating partner on Facebook or Myspace pages. Most teens post enough information on their webpage to allow anyone with access to find them at anytime during the day. An abuser can use their own webpage to post personal information or unwanted pictures about their dating partner.
Parents can initiate several steps to protect their tween or teenager from digital abuse. You can change their cell phone number but this could also escalate the abusive partner. Another option would be to leave the phone active to save the abusive messages and voicemails for future legal action if it becomes necessary. Parents should also discuss with their teenager how the misuse of their webpage can violate their privacy. Review their webpage and explain how to keep their profile private or limit the information that is posted.
Digital violence will only be overcome by educating your teens on how to use technology safely. Parents should discuss their expectations of using technology and the boundaries that must be followed for their teenager’s own protection. Talk to your teenager about respectful relationships and how you will not allow them to be mistreated. In your home and as their role model you can display what a loving relationship should be.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Cohabitation before marriage
Young adults today are deciding to live with their partner first before making the commitment of marriage. The latest statistics report that 60% to 70% of couples or 13.6 million couples in 2008 chose to live together before deciding to marry. Studies indicate that individuals that choose to cohabitate first have risk factors of divorced parents, less education, less religious commitment, and a more negative opinion about marriage in general.
The Journal of Family Psychology published a study in July 2009 that reported couples that cohabitated before marriage had a higher divorce rate than couples who did not live together first. They also found that cohabitating couples were less happy when they eventually did get married. The cohabitating couples continued to have difficulty with communication, marital conflict, higher rates of domestic violence and infidelity.
Researchers reported that most couples who chose to cohabitate wanted to save money, see their partner more frequently and test the relationship. Men are more likely to want to test the relationship first. Research has found they will have a higher level of attachment insecurity and more symptoms of anxiety and depression. What couples reported was that living together created an unequal balance of power as the male received all the benefits of marriage without the commitment. The female would then later force the concept of marriage which made the male feel he was being forced into marriage.
After more than a decade of research there has been nothing found to support that cohabitating will improve your chance of a successful marriage. Dating your partner for at least two years, knowing each other’s families, having common interests and goals that you share can help to build a lasting marriage. Pre-marital counseling has been a positive step for couples as they discuss religion, children, parenting, and financial concerns to prepare for marriage. There are no guarantees about marriage but you can communicate honestly with your partner about concerns when they arise as you prepare for a lifetime commitment to each other.
The Journal of Family Psychology published a study in July 2009 that reported couples that cohabitated before marriage had a higher divorce rate than couples who did not live together first. They also found that cohabitating couples were less happy when they eventually did get married. The cohabitating couples continued to have difficulty with communication, marital conflict, higher rates of domestic violence and infidelity.
Researchers reported that most couples who chose to cohabitate wanted to save money, see their partner more frequently and test the relationship. Men are more likely to want to test the relationship first. Research has found they will have a higher level of attachment insecurity and more symptoms of anxiety and depression. What couples reported was that living together created an unequal balance of power as the male received all the benefits of marriage without the commitment. The female would then later force the concept of marriage which made the male feel he was being forced into marriage.
After more than a decade of research there has been nothing found to support that cohabitating will improve your chance of a successful marriage. Dating your partner for at least two years, knowing each other’s families, having common interests and goals that you share can help to build a lasting marriage. Pre-marital counseling has been a positive step for couples as they discuss religion, children, parenting, and financial concerns to prepare for marriage. There are no guarantees about marriage but you can communicate honestly with your partner about concerns when they arise as you prepare for a lifetime commitment to each other.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Childhood Obesity
Health care providers are reporting that Americans are overweight and there is alarming concern about the obesity of our children. The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition reports that how much teens and tweens eat can be influenced by what their friends weigh. Time summarized the findings “Socializing with overweight people can change what we perceive as the norm; it raises our tolerance for obesity both in others and in ourselves. It’s also about letting your hair down. Past research has shown that adults tend to eat more around friends and family than they do with strangers. They shed their inhibitions about how it looks when they go back for thirds or order Alfredo sauce instead of the marinara.”
Obesity also puts children at risk for high blood pressure, diabetes and high cholesterol levels. Today approximately 25 million or one in three children and adolescents in the United States are overweight or obese. This could be the first generation that will live with more illnesses and die younger than their parents. Children’s diets have changed dramatically with the convenience of fast food and packaged foods. There should be a family oriented approach to living a healthy life style with regular exercise, a decrease in fatty foods, and appropriate amount of sleep for your child’s age.
There are several ways to motivate your children to be more active. One would be to limit television to two hours a day and take an evening walk or bike ride instead. You could encourage your children to take their pet for a walk; do yard work or other chores around the house. Parents can select toys that keep their children more active or organize a play group with their friends. You could also plan a family activity to swim, bowl, play volleyball, or visit a local YMCA. Helping your children find their strengths and encouraging them to develop them to their full potential will bring life long benefits to their physical and mental well-being.
Obesity also puts children at risk for high blood pressure, diabetes and high cholesterol levels. Today approximately 25 million or one in three children and adolescents in the United States are overweight or obese. This could be the first generation that will live with more illnesses and die younger than their parents. Children’s diets have changed dramatically with the convenience of fast food and packaged foods. There should be a family oriented approach to living a healthy life style with regular exercise, a decrease in fatty foods, and appropriate amount of sleep for your child’s age.
There are several ways to motivate your children to be more active. One would be to limit television to two hours a day and take an evening walk or bike ride instead. You could encourage your children to take their pet for a walk; do yard work or other chores around the house. Parents can select toys that keep their children more active or organize a play group with their friends. You could also plan a family activity to swim, bowl, play volleyball, or visit a local YMCA. Helping your children find their strengths and encouraging them to develop them to their full potential will bring life long benefits to their physical and mental well-being.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Marriage and the recession
For the first half of 2009 statistics are reporting that there are more women employed in our country than men. This has been caused by the layoffs and cutbacks in male dominated fields such as banking, manufacturing and construction. Females have traditionally chosen recession proof professions in health care and education. Unfortunately women have continued to earn less and receive fewer benefits. With a reversal of roles in the family a large number of couples are reporting marital stress as they become anxious about their income and retirement benefits. There has also been a 37% decrease in the number of divorces filed due to the financial strain that occurs when a family is divided into two different households.
When you are going through the tough times in life it is important to remember that it’s better to have a partner that emotionally supports you. Dr. Noelle Nelson author of Your Man is Wonderful (January 2008) gives helpful suggestions on keeping a positive attitude and avoiding the ‘Blame Game’. She states that it is important to face the issue as a team and not adversaries. Couples should focus on the strengths of their partner to explore other possibilities of income. Then set goals to resolve the problems and celebrate your victories together.
As we all wait for the economy to stabilize this can be an important time to retrain or return to school. You can contact your social network and let them know you are currently looking for employment to see if they have any leads for you. Use your time well and check on-line employment resources daily while you are job hunting. You can keep your stress under control by exercising daily, eating healthy and sleeping a minimum of seven hours. Discuss with your partner how to equalize household responsibilities and help with the children. If you have a difficult situation that you have not been able to discuss with your partner it might be helpful to seek counseling to relieve those tensions. The loss of employment has created experiences for you that were never planned but realize that the recession will not last forever. Time has a tendency to resolve all concerns.
When you are going through the tough times in life it is important to remember that it’s better to have a partner that emotionally supports you. Dr. Noelle Nelson author of Your Man is Wonderful (January 2008) gives helpful suggestions on keeping a positive attitude and avoiding the ‘Blame Game’. She states that it is important to face the issue as a team and not adversaries. Couples should focus on the strengths of their partner to explore other possibilities of income. Then set goals to resolve the problems and celebrate your victories together.
As we all wait for the economy to stabilize this can be an important time to retrain or return to school. You can contact your social network and let them know you are currently looking for employment to see if they have any leads for you. Use your time well and check on-line employment resources daily while you are job hunting. You can keep your stress under control by exercising daily, eating healthy and sleeping a minimum of seven hours. Discuss with your partner how to equalize household responsibilities and help with the children. If you have a difficult situation that you have not been able to discuss with your partner it might be helpful to seek counseling to relieve those tensions. The loss of employment has created experiences for you that were never planned but realize that the recession will not last forever. Time has a tendency to resolve all concerns.
Preparing for the flu season
The flu season is quickly approaching and it will have parents analyzing every cough and sniffle from their children. Health officials are suggesting that every family have a plan on how to stay home with their children when needed. They also ask that you review with your children the importance of washing their hands thoroughly.
Proper hand washing is the best prevention from colds and flu. It only requires one minute of your time. Suds your hands thoroughly in warm water and soap while counting to 20. Use a single towel to pat dry your hands and then use the towel to open the restroom door. Hand sanitizers should be 60 to 90% ethyl alcohol or isopropanol and used in addition to proper hand washing only.
Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius reports that the flu vaccines are currently available and the HINI vaccines will be available the first part of October. Healthy adults should only need one dose of the vaccine instead of the recommend two doses for higher risk individuals. The Federal government has ordered 195 million doses of the vaccine. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention recommends the vaccine for healthcare workers, children and young adults ages 6 months to 24 years, pregnant women, and people caring for infants younger than 6 months. People over 60 years seem to have developed some immunity while 24 years and under have not. Health officials have emphasized that children who have died from HINI were suffering with various complications from nervous system disorders or developmental delays.
Researchers have developed two antiviral drugs that they believe combat the flu very well. Tamiflu which comes in a pill form and Peramivir which is given intravenously have given promising results when used with patients suffering with the flu. If your family is having flu symptoms you should contact your primary care doctor’s nurse to discuss your symptoms and how to monitor their care.
Proper hand washing is the best prevention from colds and flu. It only requires one minute of your time. Suds your hands thoroughly in warm water and soap while counting to 20. Use a single towel to pat dry your hands and then use the towel to open the restroom door. Hand sanitizers should be 60 to 90% ethyl alcohol or isopropanol and used in addition to proper hand washing only.
Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius reports that the flu vaccines are currently available and the HINI vaccines will be available the first part of October. Healthy adults should only need one dose of the vaccine instead of the recommend two doses for higher risk individuals. The Federal government has ordered 195 million doses of the vaccine. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention recommends the vaccine for healthcare workers, children and young adults ages 6 months to 24 years, pregnant women, and people caring for infants younger than 6 months. People over 60 years seem to have developed some immunity while 24 years and under have not. Health officials have emphasized that children who have died from HINI were suffering with various complications from nervous system disorders or developmental delays.
Researchers have developed two antiviral drugs that they believe combat the flu very well. Tamiflu which comes in a pill form and Peramivir which is given intravenously have given promising results when used with patients suffering with the flu. If your family is having flu symptoms you should contact your primary care doctor’s nurse to discuss your symptoms and how to monitor their care.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Honoring our grandparents
This Sunday is designated as National Grandparents Day in our nation. Today there are more than 6 million children or approximately 1 in 12 children that are being raised by their grandparents or other relative. This has been a gradual trend in our nation over the last few decades due to divorce, neglect, teen-age pregnancy, death of parents, incarceration, unemployment, abuse, alcohol, drug usage or abandonment.
Grandparents accepting the additional responsibility of parenting their grandchildren are experiencing additional stressors to their lives. They feel more strain due to their own concerns of health and financial responsibilities. If they have downsized their home for their retirement they will need more space to accommodate the children. The additional medical care expenses of the children can also be a burden for them. Their dreams of retirement change dramatically along with their social life and interests. There is also the emotional duress of coping with these changes and accepting their fate of raising their grandchildren.
Historically grandparents have been a support to the family system sharing their wisdom and knowledge with other generations. Today they are stepping up to the challenge of raising their grandchildren and fulfilling the role of parent and grandparent to these children. Support for grandparents raising grandchildren is vital to the well-being of the caregivers. Studies show that grandparents that are successful in their new role receive support from other family members, their church and support groups.
Raising grandchildren can be both challenging and highly rewarding. Grandparents also understand that there is no greater gift than receiving the love and respect of their grandchildren who appreciate the sacrifices that have been made for their safety and well-being. So take the time this weekend and let your grandparents know that you appreciate how they have enriched your life. Have you hugged your grandparents today?
Grandparents accepting the additional responsibility of parenting their grandchildren are experiencing additional stressors to their lives. They feel more strain due to their own concerns of health and financial responsibilities. If they have downsized their home for their retirement they will need more space to accommodate the children. The additional medical care expenses of the children can also be a burden for them. Their dreams of retirement change dramatically along with their social life and interests. There is also the emotional duress of coping with these changes and accepting their fate of raising their grandchildren.
Historically grandparents have been a support to the family system sharing their wisdom and knowledge with other generations. Today they are stepping up to the challenge of raising their grandchildren and fulfilling the role of parent and grandparent to these children. Support for grandparents raising grandchildren is vital to the well-being of the caregivers. Studies show that grandparents that are successful in their new role receive support from other family members, their church and support groups.
Raising grandchildren can be both challenging and highly rewarding. Grandparents also understand that there is no greater gift than receiving the love and respect of their grandchildren who appreciate the sacrifices that have been made for their safety and well-being. So take the time this weekend and let your grandparents know that you appreciate how they have enriched your life. Have you hugged your grandparents today?
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
The 'Brain Gym' workout for all ages.
There is a new fad crossing the country. Individuals wanting to exercise their cognitive muscle are trying the new ‘Brain Gym’ concept. In a study published in 2006 in the American Medical Association a clinical trial involving 2,832 older adults found that “cognitive training” such as identifying patterns in a series of letters or words helped improve memory and reasoning skills. A more recent study of 487 adults aged 65 and older found that people who exercised with brain fitness software for 40 hours over eight weeks noted significant improvement in memory and attention skills.
The new NeuroActive Bike or “brain bike” has been reported to combine the benefits of physical activity while pumping more blood to your brain. This concept is also supposed to lower the risk of cognitive decline. All ages have been enjoying the “brain bike”. It is powered by your pedaling and has a wireless mouse for the games. The “brain bike” is currently being placed in fitness centers, schools and retirement homes.
Scientists continue to look for the causes and cures of age-related illnesses. While they seek the answers there are still several low cost ways that can keep us mentally fit. Low-tech games such as Checkers and Chess are favorites for all generations. The Crossword puzzles, Scrabble, and Sodoku puzzles continue to keep the brain sharp for problem-solving. Keeping socially active with book clubs, dancing and other hobbies are also great ways to keep the brain healthy.
Scientific research consistently reports that the brain has significant potential to acquire new knowledge at all ages. The neuroplasticity of the brain has the ability to change and map new neural pathways, stimulate new cell growth and deliver better blood flow and oxygen to the brain. This process should help to improve your short and long-term memory and accelerate your processing speed. Wichita, Kansas has their own ‘Brain Gym’ expert Dorothy Gray who is a licensed Brain Gym instructor and consultant. Contact her today to learn more about how to exercise your brain daily so you can have optimum mental health at any age.
The new NeuroActive Bike or “brain bike” has been reported to combine the benefits of physical activity while pumping more blood to your brain. This concept is also supposed to lower the risk of cognitive decline. All ages have been enjoying the “brain bike”. It is powered by your pedaling and has a wireless mouse for the games. The “brain bike” is currently being placed in fitness centers, schools and retirement homes.
Scientists continue to look for the causes and cures of age-related illnesses. While they seek the answers there are still several low cost ways that can keep us mentally fit. Low-tech games such as Checkers and Chess are favorites for all generations. The Crossword puzzles, Scrabble, and Sodoku puzzles continue to keep the brain sharp for problem-solving. Keeping socially active with book clubs, dancing and other hobbies are also great ways to keep the brain healthy.
Scientific research consistently reports that the brain has significant potential to acquire new knowledge at all ages. The neuroplasticity of the brain has the ability to change and map new neural pathways, stimulate new cell growth and deliver better blood flow and oxygen to the brain. This process should help to improve your short and long-term memory and accelerate your processing speed. Wichita, Kansas has their own ‘Brain Gym’ expert Dorothy Gray who is a licensed Brain Gym instructor and consultant. Contact her today to learn more about how to exercise your brain daily so you can have optimum mental health at any age.
Thursday, September 03, 2009
Your College-Bound Student
It’s a proud day when you watch your child leave for college. As a parent you have been working toward this moment since your child was born. This transition from child to young adult can be exhausting and emotionally draining for the parent. You have done all the preparatory work with finances, dormitory room preparation and now you are ready to give your college-bound freshman a positive send-off.
Emotionally parents must be prepared to let go of their young adult and develop a new role of support. College is a huge economic investment for parents and student alike so discussing expectations should be done early in the preparation stage. Your college bound student should be able to balance their checkbook, know how to make their own doctor appointments and fill prescriptions as needed.
If your student calls you in a panic coach them through the choices that are available. This is an important learning situation for them to build confidence in themselves. Your student will be faced with many new dilemmas from roommates to college professors. Try not to become too involved with these concerns. Trust your student to resolve the concern to the best of their abilities. Let your student know you are proud of them and will be supportive in this time of transition. Send them e-mails and text messages to let them know you are thinking of them.
The days will pass quickly and your student will be home to visit on the holidays. You will see them grow to the adult you have always envisioned. It will be a memory to celebrate together.
Emotionally parents must be prepared to let go of their young adult and develop a new role of support. College is a huge economic investment for parents and student alike so discussing expectations should be done early in the preparation stage. Your college bound student should be able to balance their checkbook, know how to make their own doctor appointments and fill prescriptions as needed.
If your student calls you in a panic coach them through the choices that are available. This is an important learning situation for them to build confidence in themselves. Your student will be faced with many new dilemmas from roommates to college professors. Try not to become too involved with these concerns. Trust your student to resolve the concern to the best of their abilities. Let your student know you are proud of them and will be supportive in this time of transition. Send them e-mails and text messages to let them know you are thinking of them.
The days will pass quickly and your student will be home to visit on the holidays. You will see them grow to the adult you have always envisioned. It will be a memory to celebrate together.
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