Tuesday, May 15, 2018
Anorexia and Bulimia Nervosa are both eating disorders that involve an intense fear of becoming overweight. This fear is usually triggered after being on a diet, fearful of becoming obese and a drive to be thin. Individuals at risk are preoccupied with food, weight, appearance and struggle with depression. These individuals display a more anxious personality that strives to be perfect.
Individuals with eating disorders believe they weigh too much and look too heavy regardless of their actual weight or appearance. They will usually begin a diet because they are obsessed with the desire to have a perfect body. Both anorexia and bulimia can play a huge role in your mental and physical health. Both disorders can disrupt everyday lives, ruin relationships and create dysfunctional behavior. Extreme cases will affect the function of internal organs and become life threatening. When individuals engage in excessive exercise they can experience depression, fatigue and heart failure. Others will abuse diet pills or struggle with other substance abuse.
The occurrence of eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia has increased dramatically over the past few years. Individuals that are most vulnerable suffer with low self-esteem, emotional stress, depression and feelings of guilt. They will then cope with their feelings by means of not eating or over eating. Both disorders will develop at an early stage of adulthood and individuals affected can struggle with this problem the rest of their life. It is most prevalent in cultures where food is plentiful and where thin is associated with attractiveness.
Anorexia and Bulimia Nervosa can be treated with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT which is designed to change behaviors that have developed into self-destructive patterns. It focuses on modifying distorted beliefs about weight. Recovery isn’t easy but with support, intensive therapy and education there is hope. Do not be afraid to seek the help that you need to become victorious of these disorders and go on to have a full and healthy life.
Monday, April 02, 2018
Many adults are discovering that the symptoms they have struggled with as a child and continue to cope with has a name, Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or ADHD Inattentive Type. Historically the diagnosis of ADD has focused predominately on children, but only 40% of children will outgrow ADD symptoms. Adults often conclude that they have ADD when their children are diagnosed and recognize that they have similar symptoms. Individuals who suspect they have ADD should see a clinician who can perform a personal interview, take a medical history, diagnose and discuss options for treatment.
There is no known cause for ADD but heredity, genetics, and chemical imbalance are probable originating factors. Adults with ADD will have difficulty following directions, remembering information, concentrating, organizing tasks or completing tasks on time. These concerns can cause problems in their personal relationships, professional careers, academics and social interactions. Symptoms of ADD can range from mild to severe. Different medications have been shown to help adults diagnosed with ADD very quickly, but there are alternative choices to consider.
The consideration of some dietary changes and eating a more nutritious regime can work as an alternative treatment. There are common things that are usually overlooked in a diet but should be assessed such as food allergies, yeast overgrowth, antibiotic over use and improper diet. These concerns can be discussed with your primary care physician.
Research is finding nutritional deficiencies of fatty acids and amino acids can affect a person’s attention span. Fatty acids are essential for the healthy nervous system as they also influence brain development and the neuronal connections between the different areas of the brain. The American diet supplies the Omega 6 family of fatty acids found in corn, sunflower, canola and safflower oil, margarine, vegetable oil and shortening. Most diets lack the Omega 3 fatty acids found in salmon, mackerel and sardines. Taking a food supplement or vitamin can help with this deficiency.
Exercise and Behavioral Changes
Regular and vigorous exercise can be very helpful to the adult diagnosed with ADD. Exercise that is maintained daily can quiet the mind and release energy in a positive way. The immediate release of dopamine and norepinephrine will help to delay impulsive behaviors and allow the individual time to evaluate choices or consequences. Exercise will also elevate the mood and decrease muscle tension.
Skills training for the ADD adult can be very beneficial. The adult would learn how to organize their day by making a list of all tasks to be completed daily. This should be prioritized from the most important to the least important task. If the tasks are complex they should be broken down into steps that are listed and crossed off when completed. Carrying a notepad or putting reminders in your phone would also allow the ADD adult to list thoughts that seem to come and go quickly and notify you of any schedule changes that occurred. Setting alarms on a phone or watch can also be a great reminder to help individuals to arrive on time to appointments or meetings.
Counseling can be very helpful to address any underlying issues of self-esteem that could hinder an individual’s performance. There is also relaxation training to help with focus and the reduction of stress. A job coach or behavioral coach could mentor the individual with work performance and relationship concerns. Family therapy can benefit the ADD adult when everyone learns ways to be supportive as new skills are being learned.
There is no cure for ADD but there are several options to control the symptoms. Learning ways to adapt and focusing on individual strengths of will help the ADD adult accomplish any goal strived for.
Tuesday, March 06, 2018
The death of a relationship, no matter how long it lasted, is always intense and difficult. When you process the obstacles that were faced, it is important that both parties accept their part in the discord that has led to the separation. During this difficult time, it would be helpful to create a support system that will provide you emotional support. Then allow yourself the time to heal and grieve the loss. This process will help you to accept the situation and in time visualize a new beginning.
Society refers to divorce as a “failed marriage”. Many marriages have ended emotionally prior to the filing of divorce paperwork. These marriages weren’t failures if you are able to retain what was learned or enjoyed from the relationship when it was healthy. In the course of life things happen to people that cause them to change. Sometimes those events cause relationships to end. That doesn’t mean the relationship failed when it was no longer viable. The marriage was successful for the years the couple was happy and together.
Many couples facing divorce will concentrate on who to blame for the cause of the divorce. It really doesn’t matter whose fault it is. You are still facing the reality that the relationship is over and the question of how you want to move forward. Obsessing about the loss and filling your life with anger will only hinder your progress in healing. Focus on healing from the experience and the new opportunities you can choose from. Your new life is a work in progress.
Acknowledge that you need to heal from this experience before seeking a new partner. The guideline is for every five years you are with a partner it takes approximately six months of healing. Next find the courage to be proactive and resolve to finalize the divorce. This will allow you to accept that the relationship is over so that you can look forward to the premise of a new beginning. Try seeking fulfillment in other ways by finding employment that engages your skills and improves your marketability. This will eventually improve your income and financial stability. Make time in your life to experience new hobbies or the fun things that you like to do. Relish the freedom that you now have over your own schedule. Focus on the positive and stay healthy by eating right and exercising. Make this a part of your daily lifestyle. The best option you have is to live well while enjoying life.
Sunday, February 04, 2018
Creating a healthy relationship with someone else starts with knowing yourself. Your attitude is the key to understanding yourself and the world you live in. It’s up to you to make the mental shift from a negative to positive perspective which allows you to see the possibilities in your life. ‘Life isn’t about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.’
Sara Blakeslee of Marriage and Family Therapy Institute said “You should be in touch with your emotional side and be able to communicate those feelings in a constructive manner.” Most people are looking for a trustworthy companion who they can spend time with and have fun with. Sometimes the small, daily challenges in a relationship can have you focusing on the problems instead of the positive aspects of your relationship. Blakeslee’s new book, 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, gives simple steps on how to enhance your marriage or relationship. “Expect less, get more; give incentives and rewards; have daily briefings; implement change; and keep costs low, benefits high.” Another suggestion the book states is to build communication with the use of “affective affirmation” or speaking nice and affirming words to your spouse. This positive interchange will initiate the necessary alteration that can transform a relationship instantly.
Simple acts of kindness can rekindle feelings of love, respect and admiration in a relationship. “It’s not about the elaborate trips or expensive dinners,” motivational speaker Jay Forte explains. “Rather life becomes an event when you pay attention to the details that show you care.” Celebrate your relationship this week by recreating your first date, pull out old photos to recall fun memories or dance to music from your dating years. Surprise your partner with filling their car up with gas, unloading the dishwasher or purchasing a book by their favorite author. These thoughtful gestures let your partner know you are thinking about them and display the behaviors that say, “I love you.”
Monday, January 01, 2018
Our lifestyles today are packed with personal and professional deadlines. We can find ourselves overwhelmed with the “To Do” lists and racing against the clock to get the last project completed. Ruminating over these deadlines or obsessing about what needs to be completed can often lead to anxiety and depression symptoms. This year make the goal to find time for yourself and the things that you enjoy doing.
Schedule time for yourself
Taking care of yourself is essential to taking care of your family. If you are that Type A personality that is prone to worry about getting things done, you might want to try the following coping tools to stop the ruminating thoughts that anxiety and depression can create.
- Put on the music and dance, watch a comedy, call a friend, or clean the kitchen. Do a task that takes about 10 minutes. That is the minimum of time needed to break the cycle of negative thinking.
- Allow yourself 5 minutes to ponder the list you must tackle and then move on with your plan of action.
- Meditate for a minute by taking that cleansing breath, closing your eyes and just focus on your breathing with a slow count to three. Breath in clean oxygen through the nose and exhale carbon dioxide out through your mouth brings the best results to calm your nervous system.
- Ask yourself what is the worst thing that can happen in this situation. Accept that and then move forward to overcome those obstacles.
- Use your support system to brainstorm ideas when you feel stuck or do an activity together to relax and take a break for a while.
- Accept that you are human and will make mistakes. Sometimes we are kinder to strangers than we are to ourselves.
Practicing these ideas to reduce your daily stress and anxiety can be very helpful in remaining emotionally balanced. Create a lifestyle for yourself and your family that prioritizes self-care with exercise, appropriate nutrition, and 8 hours of sleep. Always seek professional advice if your stress affects the quality of life you desire.
Sunday, December 03, 2017
Children and parents look forward to the winter break from school to have a reprieve from the hectic schedule and academic demands. During the holiday season children can experience different stressors if they are faced with family financial hardships and strained relationships from divorce or blended families. Some children may have a parent in the military service that is deployed, or a recent family member may have passed away that is causing sorrow. Whatever the concern is in your family there are ways to support and comfort each other during this season.
Activities to relieve stress
The American Psychological Association completed a recent stress survey which reported 49% of teens felt that they were under more stress this year. They stated that their worry was affecting the quality of their lives: 42% headaches, 49% difficulty sleeping and 39% are eating too much or too little. There are several things parents can do to help their child feel cared for and understood.
A younger child that has experienced a loss could draw a picture about what is making them feel sad or mad. Then have the child verbalize their thoughts so that you can affirm their feelings. Families can gather together and play holiday music, sing carols or dance to their favorite songs to forget their worries for a while. It might be fun to visit extended family members and discuss the memories of past holidays when you are missing individuals who are no longer with you. Then bundle up to build a snowman or walk around the neighborhood to look at the decorations. When there is a lull in the festivities take holiday pictures to send to family members that are not present and let them know how much they are missed. If you are artistic be creative and make an advent calendar for each family member to write the small things they are grateful for each day. This will change your thinking from what you don’t have to what you do have. To end the holiday season your family could have a candle lighting where each child lights their own candle in memory of those who have passed or to share their hope for the New Year.
Season of hope
The Independent Sector study (1996) reports that children who volunteer do better in school, feel more positive about themselves, and avoid risky behaviors like drugs and alcohol. It can help them develop career goals, learn how to respect others and understand people who are different. Children that have participated in service activities are more likely to vote, have a positive work ethic, and live a socially responsible life. Helping others less fortunate this holiday season can make a difference in your community. It can also make a lifelong impression on your children and family as you work together to help make your community a better place to live.
The holidays can be a lonely time for some people. Helping others in their time of need can also make your worries much smaller. Spread the love and joy you feel to others you encounter each day. You can make a difference this holiday season. The holidays are meant to be enjoyed and remembered by all family members. So, try some of those ideas to help you manage your stress. It will be the best present you ever gave yourself.
Sunday, November 05, 2017
People who are divorced and lost the most important relationship of their life will spend time thinking about what went wrong. Most individuals think marriage is the finish line and really it’s just the next starting line. An established couple can easily get into a rut and just drift apart from each other. Managing your expectations of marriage and the ebb and flow of passion in a long-term relationship should not place a higher importance to the history and compatibility of the couple.
Routine of life
Couples feel that if the heat isn’t blazing in their bedroom that their marriage is dull, diluted and unfulfilling. Many individuals will leave their marriage too quickly because they are intoxicated by the “sugar high” of a new relationship. The momentary high from being with someone new often blinds people to the reality of what life is after divorce, especially when children are involved.
In the book Make up, Don’t break up by Dr. Bonnie Eiker Weil states “only 7% of people who separate end up getting back together, the pain of rejection shatters so much trust. If the cheating spouse is deluded by the thrill and excitement of an affair he or she may truly believe they are no longer in love. This starts the spiral of divorce, instead of realizing that their spouse may not be rational at this moment of time.”
Commitment -vs- Lust
Lust is an important component of a relationship as that heart beating passion makes you feel alive but it can also make you impulsive. Dr. Mark Banschick psychiatrist and author of The Intelligent Divorce observes, “Lust is a binder and intimacy maker early on when you have little else holding you together. But the muscle and bone structure of a long-term relationship are formed by compatibility and history. You can’t replicate the wife being there for the father’s illness, the birth of a child and the funny moments on a Sunday morning, disappointments you’ve worked through and family birthday parties. People will miss the history if it’s just about lust.”
There are situations when the marriage isn’t able to survive the destruction of multiple affairs, addiction or abuse. Couples who work on themselves and their relationship can often hurdle their current conflict and emerge to a stable relationship to raise children and comfort each other. That’s why it is best not to make a rash decision until you’ve explored your options. Many couples will give up too quickly, especially during the holiday season when emotions can be volatile at times. It is best to seek professional help to discuss your options and determine if there is any possibility to rebuild your relationship during the season of hope.