Divorce rates are remaining steady at 50% survival rate for
first marriages. Couples now ranging from fifty to sixty years of age are in
the highest percentile of divorce which has doubled since the 1990’s. This age
group is classified as the Baby Boomers with ages ranging from 51 to 69 years
old.
Divorcees at this age have been termed as “gray divorces”. Research indicated that many of the
individuals report that they had become unhappy in their marriage and seek to
fulfill their own interests and independence for the remaining time of their
life. Grey divorces can create other issues for both men and women. Individuals
can be less financially secure than married or widowed adults. Also, living
alone at an older age can create more social isolation and other health concerns.
Steps for change
- Be the model for change. If you believe your partner is not loving, understanding or appreciative of your concerns then model those behaviors for your partner. You will get what you give in a relationship.
- Own your 100 percent. Own your part of the problem that occurs in the relationship and then take the necessary steps to correct them.
- Initiate sexual contact. If you want a more passionate sex life then initiate the contact with your partner and work to make that happen.
- Talk about your needs in a positive manner. Stop the blame game and speak to your partner in “I” messages. Explain your needs and work together to resolve them.
Be adventurous
You can be the agent of change by taking the initiative to stay
connected to your partner. As a couple, you could take turns making plans for a
date night. Sit down together and make a
list of new experiences you would like to try together. When you are together try
not to focus only on your day to day stressors. Discuss what dream and
short-term goals you would like to accomplish individually and as a couple. Relationships
are a constant work in progress. It
doesn’t get easier, you just need to be more creative.
