Sunday, May 17, 2020

Adapting to Change


The world around us is constantly changing and life is measured by the milestones of change. We are in varying states of transition as we adapt to our evolution of life. There is birth, death, divorce, careers and daily changes with schedules, friendships, children and the needs of the family as we age. Anticipating change can become a natural part of life and an opportunity for personal growth.  Learning how to accept change can decrease your stress, worry, and physical or mental duress.

Phases of change

As children our parents protected us from change as it was associated with loss. Understanding that change can be a positive concept will open your mind to the possibility of the transition you are facing. Learning to accept change is an acquired skill because it is a challenge to your old belief system. It can cause a break from your routine or shift your priorities to create a complete transformation to your lifestyle. This can generate a range of emotions from fear of the unknown to anxiety, anger or even excitement.

Professional and Engineering Projects (PEP) is a consulting company that will help organizations modify their structure to produce growth. They believe there are five stages of change that we progress through. There is shock, denial, depression, insight, and learning. Once you receive the initial shock of what the change will mean to you the negativity and resistance will occupy your thoughts. You will not want to leave your “comfort zone” and attempt to avoid making the necessary adjustments. Depression is the turning point to acceptance as you realize the options are limited. Insight will bring you the vision of what needs to be reorganized for success. The learning will then evolve with the change of attitude and belief system.

Success of adapting to change

Learning the skill of accepting change will help you to face all challenges and emerge from them stronger, wiser and more self-confident. Allow yourself the time to process your options. Try to modify any black and white thinking by finding a compromise when possible. Then self-check your resistance, as you establish goals to move forward. Act or behave how you visual the transformation and begin to celebrate your small victories of accomplishments. Having the appropriate coping skills can increase your happiness in all areas of your life and relationships. Moving forward can give you a sense of order and purpose to life. This can allow you to perceive tomorrow as a new day of possibilities.   

We live in a world of constant change and we must be resilient. Everyone should protect their emotional and physical well-being. You should be conscientious about eating well and getting your rest. Try to remain socially connected with a few close friends or family members while limiting the news and social media options. During this pandemic of change focus on what is going well and remain hopeful.

Sunday, February 23, 2020

Sexual Desire Discrepancy


When you are in a relationship you will notice the different desires with your partner in food, movies, music and hobbies. It is very natural for couples to have different preferences and desires. The frustration of sexual desire though, can create feelings of rejection, resentment and control between the couple.

Desire

According to one study approximately 15% of married couples are sexless. This was defined as the partners hadn’t had sex with each other in the past six months to one year. Life stages in relationships create hormonal changes which create a mismatch on desire. Your libido can be affected by several issues like depression, medication, stress, health, affairs, pornography, previous sexual trauma and dissatisfaction with the partner. Erectile dysfunction can be a concern or one partner in a heterosexual relationship could be gay. Any one of these concerns would affect the sexual desire you would have for each other.

Rebuild desire

New love is intoxicating and rewards the brain like opioids with hormones. Couples seek that feeling of intoxication with each other again. Rebuilding that connection takes time and patience discussing the pertinent issues of wants and needs for each individual.

Sexuality and relationships are complex and there is not one simple way to build your libido or emotional connection with your partner. People’s needs are often quite different but sexual desire and discrepancy is a common issue couples experience and with help from a professional this can often be worked out.