A study done by Helen Fisher PhD a biological anthropologist
and author found that 56% of men and 34% of women who have had affairs were
happy in their marriages. Fisher found
that men were more likely motivated by sex and less likely to fall in love. In
comparison women who had affairs were considering leaving their marriage.
Reasons for being
unfaithful
Experts say that most often men and women have different reasons
for being unfaithful. Men will stray in their relationships for sexual intimacy
or attention. Women will risk fidelity to fill an emotional void or because
they are lonely in their marriage. Research completed by the American
Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) reports that 15% of wives
have had sex outside their marriage but 35% have had an emotional affair with
kissing. They also found 25% of men have had an affair with 45% had kissing
with emotional attachment.
If you believe your partner is having an affair it is
important to address concerns of infidelity early……even if you have no clear
proof. Whether or not it happened the couple has work to do on their
communication and trust. When a couple lacks these important traits in their relationship
it can be more damaging to a marriage than sexual infidelity itself.
Correct the problem
There are many factors to consider when determining the
success of a relationship such as age, education level, income, religious
beliefs and relationship satisfaction. The majority of married couples that
file for divorce site the reason as incompatible or unable to communicate.
Unmarried couples will more often part due to infidelity.
There are signs that emerge if a partner is having an
affair. They will change how they look or become more meticulous in their
appearance. The individual may start to give more gifts due to the guilt they
feel for being unfaithful. You may notice that your partner is criticizing you
more and trying to start an argument. This can release the individual from
blame that the relationship failed or they can state you were the one at fault.
The best way to heal a relationship is to seek help together
in couple’s therapy to build trust. Individual therapy could build a wall of secrecy
and privacy which could lead to further alienation in the strained
relationship. There is no time line in how long it will take to repair a
relationship. The betrayed person should set the timetable for recovery. While
the person who was unfaithful will be eager to put the past behind them he/she
needs to honor the other person’s need to take it slow and heal from the
betrayal. Only then can you correct the issues that initiated the affair and
move forward in the relationship.
