Financial Infidelity

Financial infidelity occurs when one spouse over spends family money, makes secret purchases or has a hidden bank account without the other partner’s knowledge. Financial and family law specialist state they see more cases of divorce caused by financial infidelity than sexual infidelity. Spouses are trained to look for the traditional “lipstick on the collar” but never consider checking on the status of their credit reports.

Signs

Keeping secrets is a violation of trust within the marriage. A recent study from the GMAC Finance Company found that one-third of the spouses from 2800 households surveyed admitted to hiding at least one purchase from their partner. The most common where clothes, hobby related items and gambling. Experts have found a correlation between addiction and financial infidelity.

Some warning signs to monitor for financial infidelity would be when your partner is resistant to discuss family finances. You may notice large purchases appear in the home without prior discussion or find bills for items you weren’t aware that had been bought. You might also discover a new credit card or line of credit with your name on it.

Create a healthy financial connection

A healthy financial connection is determined by relationship dynamics, values and expectations that have been established between the couple. It is important to discuss family norms on budget, donations and personal spending allowance. As a couple set guidelines and limits for spending money without the other partner knowing. Little lies tend to lead to bigger ones. This deception can escalate into serious debt. A spouse will conceal a debt thinking they can solve the problem before their partner becomes aware. This choice will add strain to an already troubled relationship.

The first step would be for the individual to admit to the problem. Then as a couple work together to repair the damage. A financial planner and couple’s therapist may need to be consulted to unravel the cause for this harmful deception that is in the relationship. Together establish the ground rules for how the family money is to be spent. Then clarify the expectations about lifestyle and make a budget together while paying bills. Communicate to each other about unexpected expenses that arise and how that affects your financial goals. As you create a financial plan determine what should be placed in savings each month. Then obtain a credit report yearly and set your fiscal goals each year together to maintain a healthy financial connection.