Sunday, February 23, 2020

Sexual Desire Discrepancy

When you are in a relationship you will notice the different desires with your partner in food, movies, music and hobbies. It is very natural for couples to have different preferences and desires. The frustration of sexual desire though, can create feelings of rejection, resentment and control between the couple.


According to one study approximately 15% of married couples are sexless. This was defined as the partners hadn’t had sex with each other in the past six months to one year. Life stages in relationships create hormonal changes which create a mismatch on desire. Your libido can be affected by several issues like depression, medication, stress, health, affairs, pornography, previous sexual trauma and dissatisfaction with the partner. Erectile dysfunction can be a concern or one partner in a heterosexual relationship could be gay. Any one of these concerns would affect the sexual desire you would have for each other.

Rebuild desire

New love is intoxicating and rewards the brain like opioids with hormones. Couples seek that feeling of intoxication with each other again. Rebuilding that connection takes time and patience discussing the pertinent issues of wants and needs for each individual.

Sexuality and relationships are complex and there is not one simple way to build your libido or emotional connection with your partner. People’s needs are often quite different but sexual desire and discrepancy is a common issue couples experience and with help from a professional this can often be worked out.