Monday, May 09, 2011

Relocating your family

The decision to relocate your family can involve more than the financial opportunity of career advancement. With the strain of the current economy many families will move due to the loss of income, divorce or the death of a partner and have the need to decrease their living expenses. These changes in our daily life can create emotional turmoil for the entire family.

Emotional Preparation

Whether the move is affecting a child, spouse or aging parent there will be feelings and concerns that should be recognized. It will be important to have open communication and discuss how the move will benefit the family as a whole. Try to be an attentive listener when they share their apprehensions. Empathize and acknowledge their concerns about this important transition in their life. Allow time for them to grieve their loss and work toward acceptance. Then reinforce the positive aspects of the move and how it is the best choice for the entire family.

Moving with children that are 5 to 6 years old can be a difficult time since they are developing a sense of self separate from their parents. They are learning how to adjust to new authority figures and building friendships. A change in their environment during this developmental stage can create an enhanced dependence on parents or separation anxiety. Pre-teens and teenagers will not want to leave their peer group as their sense of self has grown with these relationships. Parents may see signs of distress with a change in appetite, social withdrawal, failing grades, anger, sleep disturbance and mood swings. If your children display escalating emotional duress during this time seek the help of a mental health professional, pastor or school counselor for support.

Family Involvement

Have a family meeting and involve everyone in making the plans for this new adjustment. Utilize the available technology to present information acquired about the community, schools and housing options. Discuss the local activities for everyone at school, church, sports and extra-curricular options. Plan how to continue communicating with family, friends and neighbors by creating a booklet of photos with their contact information. Each family member may want to create their own book of memories. Then plan a “See you soon” party so that you can say good-bye and celebrate your new beginning.

The New Beginning

Having the children pack their favorite items last in their own box will allow them to unpack those items first when you arrive at your new home. This will make their new room feel like home to them. Unpacking the essentials will also get your family back to their routine. The consistency of meals, bed time and play time will normalize the changes and help them to adjust to their new environment. Try to make the first night festive with a picnic in the front room on a blanket or rolling out sleeping bags for an indoor camp out. Then celebrate the memories your family will make together in your new home.