Love of money effects marriage

It’s not uncommon for couples to encounter marital stress over their finances. Money related issues have the potential to drive many committed relationships to the edge of divorce. The most obvious concern is the conflict of not having enough money for the current financial responsibilities that must be met. In today’s culture most people equate their financial security to status and success. Many people will attach their self-worth to the number of possessions that they have.

Love of money

Researcher Jason Carroll a professor of family life at Brigham Young University reported in their new research that materialists have more dissatisfaction with their marriage than couples who don’t care about possessions. This held true among all socioeconomic levels. The least satisfying marriages were those where both spouses cared strongly about material goods. “We thought it would be the incongruent or unmatched pattern that would be most problematic, where one’s a saver and one’s a spender,” Carroll told Live Science. “Our study found that it’s the couple where both spouses have high levels of materialism that struggle the most.” Previous research has also confirmed that people who are materialistic are also more anxious, depressed and insecure than others who are not materialistic. Individuals who valued money more also had trouble at home since there was no balance between their work and personal life.

Balance the budget

One out of five couples have admitted to a strong love of money. Human being’s desire connection and material items can create distance in a relationship. Couples that have been married for 20 years or more have made time for each other and really care about their relationship. If you have concerns about your finances, talk to your partner about your future as a family. Then together set responsible financial steps to attain that vision together. Realize that this will be a long term commitment and not a goal that will be instantly gratified.

It will be important to listen to each other, compromise and put a plan into action. If you have any credit card debt or payday loans they should be a priority to pay off. The short and long term goals of savings, retirement, college funds, and vacation can all be obtained with collaborative planning. If you hit an impasse consult with a marriage counselor, coach or mediator. Your marriage is also an investment to your future.

Generation Y the Boomerang Kids

The “Boomerang Generation” is a word created by the media to describe the current generation of young adults (18-35) who live at home and are not financially independent. They are the sons and daughters of the Baby Boomer generation that have moved back home to live for multiple reasons. This pattern appears to be cyclical and determined by economic conditions. Monsters’ 2009 Annual Entry Level Job Outlook reports 40% of graduates are living with their parents and 42% from 2006.

Economic trend

The Census Bureau recently released data reporting that 70% of singles ages 20-29 lived with their parents in the 1940’s. From the 1940’s our country began to recover from the Depression to a more financial independent lifestyle that the Baby Boomers enjoyed. Our economy peaked and then regressed due to the economic downturn. Steven Ruggles history professor at the University of Minnesota states, “Real wages for young people reached their peak in 1973. They were more independent because they could afford it.”

Michael Rosenfeld a social demographer at Stanford University and author of The Age of Independence reports that 39% of single women and 46% of single men 20-29 lived with a parent in 2005. Both specialist agree that there is a historical increase in “boomerang kids” but it’s small scale in comparison to statistics from the depression.

Renegotiate the relationship

Adult children are reporting several reasons for moving back into their childhood home. The number one concern is financial debt due to the economic reasons that were related to layoffs, loss of job, no insurance, expired unemployment benefits, early widowhood, divorce, major health concerns and substance abuse. Each situation seems to be unique and complex.

Before parents allow their adult child to return home they should renegotiate their relationship, roles and establish new boundaries. First determine what constructive support is needed so that you don’t enable them to continue behaviors that are self-destructive or situations that created the problem. Next establish a financial plan together that may lower their standard of living but can create long-term financial freedom for them. Also, research the opportunities that are available to return to college and retrain. Finally, contact all state programs that might be able to provide financial support during this interim.

Parents need to dialogue openly about expectations of living at home. Adult children should be willing to contribute to household chores and have a timeline on how long they will need the help. Establish a cost for rent or a household bill they are able to pay. Helping the adult child should not interrupt or burden a parent’s financial planning for their own retirement. If the adult child is unwilling to follow the guidelines you have established you may need to seek professional help on what options are available to you. There should be a balance in helping yourself and helping others that you love.