Saturday, July 26, 2014

Empty Nest Syndrome


Empty Nest Syndrome refers to feelings of depression, sadness and/or grief that are experienced by parents when the children become of age to leave their childhood home. This can occur when children leave to attend college or get married. Women appear to have more difficulty with this transition than men but both have similar feeling of loss after the departure of their children.
Parent-child relationship
Empty Nest Syndrome is most common in the autumn when teenagers leave for college. It can also happen when a child gets married. Matrimony is a permanent launching stating parents are no longer needed as they were before. Research suggests that the quality of the parent-child relationship may have important consequences during this transition. The parents are now able to develop a friendship with the young adult which can reduce the conflict experienced in the developmental years. This new bond will also provide support for the parents when they face the health concerns of the elderly.
Parents should prepare for the empty nest while their children are still living at home. They can make specific plans for their extra time, money and space that will be available when the children are no longer dependent on you. Feelings of sadness are normal at this time. It you feel that you no longer have purpose, experience excessive crying or unable to perform your daily routine you should seek professional help.
A time of transition
A positive perspective at this time of your life is vital to the transition. Adjust your new role in your child’s life. The relationship now becomes more peer like as you give your child independence. You can schedule a weekly call-in time, email and text message things you’d like to share in-between visits.
Once you can look at this second half of your life as a new opportunity you will feel younger, be financially stronger, and have more time for friends, hobbies and your partner. Time and energy can now be spent in different areas of your life as you work together to turn the second half of your life into a time of discovery and joy.

 

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Sleep Debt


Sleep debt or deficit is the cumulative effect of not getting enough sleep. It is the difference between the amount of sleep you should get and the actual amount that you are sleeping. Current studies are reporting that 50 – 90% of Americans experience the consequences of sleep debt. Sleep is essential for good physical and mental health. It affects how you look, feel and perform at work or school. When we are sleep deprived the brain has to work harder to concentrate and retain information. It also becomes more difficult to problem solve and generate new ideas.  
Causes of sleep debt                                                          
Today’s high paced lifestyle creates the lack of time that we allow ourselves to sleep. The National Sleep Foundation (NSF) 2004 poll results found that the average adult sleeps 6.8 hours weekdays and 7.4 hours on the weekend. If you lose one hour of sleep per day by Friday you have a sleep debt of 5 hours.  Over one year a person can accrue two weeks of sleep debt if the time isn’t made up over the weekend.
 
David Neubauer MD sleep expert from Johns Hopkins University and spokesman for NSF says “You need to value sleep the same way you value eating right and getting regular exercise.” Lack of sleep creates a vicious cycle of eating inappropriately. The more tired we feel the more caffeine and sugar we consume. The caffeine and sugar intake can keep you awake at night. Over exposure to technology such as television, video games and computers are also identified as a contributor to sleep debt. Other individuals reported staying up late to finish a movie, texting and talking on the phone can kept them from going to bed on time.
Create good sleep rituals
David Neubauer MD from NSF reminds us that “It’s important to maintain a regular bedtime routine as much as possible.” It will train the mind and body to act in a certain way at a specific time. This will help your body to create the circadian rhythm your brain needs to release the melatonin at bedtime. Spend time “winding down” at least two hours before bedtime. The study suggests that you stop all work, phone calls and avoid eating before going to bed.  You shouldn’t consume caffeine, nicotine and alcohol during this time either as they will interrupt sleep patterns. It is best to exercise early during the day to energize your brain and body. This will also help you relieve your stress and to be more relaxed in the evening. Before bedtime take a bath, read a book or listen to some music. It is recommended that you sleep on a comfortable mattress in a cool, quiet, dark room to help develop healthy sleep habits. 
There are many factors that can contribute to sleep debt. The more chronic issues such as pain, illness, sleep apnea or insomnia are more serious long-term sleep problems that can have adverse effect on your health.  You should contact your doctor to discuss your symptoms. Your doctor may prescribe a medication, suggest lifestyle changes, relaxation techniques or have your sleep evaluated at a sleep lab. Having a good day starts with having a good night’s sleep.
 

Thursday, July 03, 2014

Choosing to Remain Single


Today more men and women are choosing to remain single in their late 20’s and 30’s. The number of single adults rose to 50% in 2010, compared to 33% in 1950 according to census data. This has been a cultural shift based on the financial freedom women experience now with success in the workplace, college education, and choosing to cohabitate. Kate Bolick writes, “Today marriage is an option, not a necessity the way it once was, and that’s revolutionary.”
Finding contentment
Everyone is different and has a different script for their life. Currently men and women have similar reasons as to why they never marry. They can financially support themselves while enjoying their independence and have time alone to enjoy their personal interests. Also individuals who have experienced hurtful relationships in the past are cautious to enter into another long-term commitment with today’s high divorce rate. 
There are many men and women with a sharp focus on career and personal growth. They will often prefer staying single rather than trying to balance the duties and obligations of marriage. Personal career growth can keep an individual from committing to a partner as some career choices can be too demanding and put a strain on relationships. Many professionals have no desire for children and believe that cohabitating will provide the intimacy they desire. An individual’s financial status can also play a part in the decision of continuing a relationship to the next level. If the partner has a poor credit score, no savings, past due car payments or even behind on the child support you could spend years working to paying off someone else’s debt.
It’s a choice
Being content with your own life, work, family, friends and other interests is the number one reason why people stay single. Society can no longer dictate what is acceptable for the individual’s best option or that they must get married to be happy. Falling in love doesn’t mean you must run to the jeweler.  Loving another person can just be the joy of the experience when it enters into your life. There are many forms of love and commitment in relationships. Decide today to just enjoy the journey of the relationship and be open to where ever it may take you.