Parenting a teenager has always been challenging but with the technology available today it has increased the difficulties. Cell phones, PDAs and the internet can keep teenagers in constant communication with each other. A recent study found that 93% of teens use the internet, 72% own a desktop computer and 67% have their own cell phones. More than half of 12 to 17 year olds who use the internet also have a profile on Facebook or Myspace. This technology has exposed teenagers to cyberbullying and digital dating abuse. Digital dating abuse has been defined as when one member of a teen couple starts to pressure or disrespect the other with a mode of technology.
Today 47% of 11 to 14 year olds are in a dating relationship. Sex is considered part of the tween dating relationships. This early sexual activity appears to fuel dating violence and abuse among teenagers. The 15 to 18 year olds are reporting significant levels of abusive behavior that extend from electronic abuse of rumors, embarrassing pictures or videos, verbal bullying and physical abuse. Parents seem to be in the dark about these behaviors but there are several resources that are trying to break the cycle by educating the parent and teenagers about their options.
Teen abusers are known to want constant control over their partner night and day. Teens report they are called or sent a text message 30 times an hour asking them where they are or what they are doing. This usually occurs between midnight and 5:00 A.M. They also monitor their dating partner on Facebook or Myspace pages. Most teens post enough information on their webpage to allow anyone with access to find them at anytime during the day. An abuser can use their own webpage to post personal information or unwanted pictures about their dating partner.
Parents can initiate several steps to protect their tween or teenager from digital abuse. You can change their cell phone number but this could also escalate the abusive partner. Another option would be to leave the phone active to save the abusive messages and voicemails for future legal action if it becomes necessary. Parents should also discuss with their teenager how the misuse of their webpage can violate their privacy. Review their webpage and explain how to keep their profile private or limit the information that is posted.
Digital violence will only be overcome by educating your teens on how to use technology safely. Parents should discuss their expectations of using technology and the boundaries that must be followed for their teenager’s own protection. Talk to your teenager about respectful relationships and how you will not allow them to be mistreated. In your home and as their role model you can display what a loving relationship should be.
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