Fall in Love With Your Spouse Again

Divorce rates are remaining steady at 50% survival rate for first marriages. If you are struggling to not be part of the latest statistics then you might want to read Dr. Laura Berman's new book Real Sex for Real Women. She has worked as a sex educator, researcher, and therapist for the last 18 years. Dr. Berman has a few ideas on how to put that spark back into your dying romance.

1. Be the model for change. If you believe your partner is not loving, understanding or appreciative of your concerns then model those behaviors for your partner. You will get what you give in a relationship.
2. Own your 100 percent. Own your part of the problem that occurs in the relationship and then take the necessary steps to correct them.
3. Initiate sexual contact. If you want a more passionate sex life then initiate the contact with your partner and work to make that happen.
4. Talk about your needs in a positive manner. Stop the blame game and speak to your partner in "I" messages. Explain your needs and work together to resolve them.

Then take the steps to stay connected to your partner. Make plans for a date night. Share new experiences together and try to not talk about your day to day stressors. Relationships are a constant work in progress. It doesn't get easier, you just have to be more creative.

Good luck!!

Gina

Coping with Holiday Stress

The holiday season is upon us and more people than ever are taking anti-depressants and anxiety medications. They are struggling to cope with relationships, finances and the physical demands of their daily schedules. Your already busy schedule just became more demanding with the preparation of the holidays to create the magic you want your family to experience.

When you are stressed to the maximum it is very difficult to stop and assess your mental well being. You just know that you are tired, angry and resentful of the demands that are expected of you. The Mayo Clinic has twelve tips to help handle the holiday stress:

1. Acknowledge your feelings. Don't force yourself to feel happy just because it is expected.
2. Seek support. Don't be a martyr. Call your friends and family when needed.
3. Be realistic. Let go of old traditions and make new ones that are more compatible to your current life style.
4. Set differences aside. Set aside grievances until after the holidays. Try to focus on the positive rather than the negative.
5. Stick to a budget. You can't buy happiness.
6. Plan ahead. Write those lists and cook some of your menu items ahead of time. If traveling you might want to mail your gifts before you leave to make sure they arrive on time.
7. Learn to say no. Everyone has limits. Know what yours are and set the boundary.
8. Don't abandon healthy habits. Good self-care will keep you healthy and happy.
9. Take a breather. Make time for yourself to replenish your spirit.
10. Rethink resolutions. Try to make small goals that are attainable so that you can see your progress.
11. Forget about perfection. You are not a television program that displays a perfect ending to the story. Accept those imperfections in yourself and others.
12. Seek professional help if you find yourself persistently sad and anxious.

The holidays are meant to be enjoyed and remembered by all family members, so take those steps to manage your stress and depression. It will be the best present you ever gave yourself.

Happy Holidays!!

Gina

Be Physically and Mentally Active

There have been several studies over the last several years that have reported Americans have become obese. We have automated our lives to the point of physical inactivity and we are not utilizing the calories that we intake. So our body stores the calories as fat for a later time when we may need them. The problem is we are not active enough to burn the stored fat and over time become obese.

Obesity can effect every aspect of your life from personal relationships to health concerns. The problems do not stop there as we are creating another generation of obesity with our children. Almost half of children in America older than 12 years old aren't active enough. We need to get up off the couch or away from the computer and interact with each other again. Playing family games, learning hobbies, and playing sports are just a few activities that families can do together to stay physically and mentally healthy. Twenty to thirty minutes of moderate, age-appropriate activity daily can keep the whole family healthy, emotionally and physically. Make time to stay healthy now or you will have to make time to be ill later.

Best wishes,

Gina