Today the social appropriate term for a "bullying" is relational aggression. This is a major concern for most of our children in school. The movies today that focus on child development will have scenes where a group of students will be aggressive toward an individual by playing spiteful tricks and saying or writing cruel things behind their backs. Most of the time these behaviors are intended to be cruel and humilate the targeted individual.
Most people would assume that the boys are more aggressive than the girls. Boys will generally act out their aggression physically by hitting, shoving or kicking. Girls usually utilize more subtler or passive aggression by gossiping, group exclusion, and rumor spreading.
Relational aggression can create a lot of long term issues for their victim. Victims can suffer self-esteem damage and are usually lonely, anxious children. Unfortunately, the aggressor usually suffers from the same concerns and will try to control their environment with aggression.
Helping your child develop well-balanced friendships that should start in their pre-school years as they learn to share and take turns. Explaining the other child's perspective on issues can help develop empathy for others, trust, cooperation, and respect. Guiding your child through the process of conflict resolution also teaches them to healthy social skills that will guide them through the turbulent adolescent years.
Warm regards,
Gina
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