Marital Bliss

Couples that have been together for any length of time often forget what the original attraction was to each other. The day to day irritations of quirky habits begin a cycle of unresolved differences. The dirty laundry on the floor, dishes that need to be put away, a toilet that needs fixed become big issues when the partner feels neglected, unloved or not appreciated.

Relationships are a two-way street. If one partner nags relentlessly communication stops and the blame game begins. Most arguments are based with one partner’s concept of how things should be done from finances to laundry. Discussing these concerns with “I” statements will help diffuse the issue and open the partner to active listening. Sharing your needs in a respectful way and brainstorming at least two alternatives to try will allow couples to step out of the argument and begin to problem-solve the concerns.

Staying emotionally and intimately connected to your partner is difficult with the hectic pace of today. Couples should try to allocate one evening a week as their “date night” and take turns in planning an activity. It can be as simple as staying home and turning off all electronic devices so that you can both focus on each other without interruption. This lets your partner know that spending time together is a priority for you. When you fix their favorite meal, compliment their strengths, or purchase a thoughtful gift your partner will feel loved. That thoughtful gesture will bring a smile to their face and keep your relationship healthy.

Best wishes,

Gina

Getting a Good Night's Sleep

As we all experience the current recession there are many of us struggling to sleep through the night. When suffering with anxiety and depression or under extreme duress our mind will start processing our concerns while we are trying to fall asleep or wake us up after sleeping for a couple of hours. It is very difficult to problem solve concerns if we are fatiqued and irritable.

Prevention magazine reports simple steps that everyone can follow so that they can "sleep like a baby."

1. Make breakfast your heaviest meal.
2. Cut out the caffiene after 2PM.
3. Go outside when it is sunny to reset your awake-sleep cycle.
4. Drink your eight, 8 oz. glasses of water each day.
5. Exercise every day, preferably in the morning.
6. Take a 15 minute nap when needed.
7. Go to bed only when you are sleepy.
8. Move the television out of the bedroom.
9. Create a sleep schedule and stick to it.
10. Try herbal teas instead of sleeping pills.

If you have difficulty falling asleep and have for several months, you could be sleep deprived. Contact your local mental health professional to discuss your options.

Practice good self-care!

Gina

Stress, Anxiety and Depression

Our lifestyles today are packed with personal and professional deadlines. We can find ourselves overwhelmed with to do lists and racing against the clock to get that last project completed. Ruminating over these deadlines or obsessing about what needs to be completed can often lead to anxiety and depressive symptoms.

So if you are that type A personality that is prone to obsessing you might want to try the following interventions to stop the ruminating.
1. Put on the music and dance, watch a comedy, call a friend, clean the kitchen. Do a task that takes about 10 minutes. That is the minimum of time needed to break the cycle of thoughts.
2. Allow your self five minutes to ponder the list you have to tackle and then move on with your plan of action.
3. Meditate for a minute by taking that cleansing breath, closing your eyes and just focus on your breathing.
4. Ask yourself what is the worst thing that can happen in this situation. Accept that and then move forward to cope.
5. Use your support system to let you know when you are out of control.
6. Accept that you are human and will make mistakes. Sometimes we are kinder to a stranger than we are to ourselves.

Be sure to practice your self-care daily and seek professional help when your obsessive thoughts interfere with your sleep and quality of life.

Best wishes,
Gina

Hugs and Kisses Decrease Stress

A recent study from the journal of Psychosomatic Medicine reports that loving touches can lower our stress hormone cortisol by 7%. Anything from sex to holding hands can do the trick! You will become calmer every minute you are enjoying a pleasureable touch. The stress-snuggle connection was studied by Beate Ditzen PhD. who studied 51 couples for a week, asking them to record their activities and take saliva samples every three hours. The results were that intimacy reduced cortisol levels by improving their mood.

Studies have already proven that a loving touch can reduce blood pressure and have other health benefits. Angry hugs don't work, which is why only happily married couples benefit from longer and healthier lives. If you don't have a mate handy for hugs, try getting the benefit from family and friends as there have been other studies that have linked friendship with good health, longevity and less stess. So in these stressful economic times just borrow a hug and feel better!

Best wishes,

Gina

Learning Love Languages

February is believed to be the month that we should declare our love to the people in our life. Actually we should share those feelings with each other every day and not put all our expectations into a commercial holiday.

Gary Chapman author of The Five Love Languages series says that there are five ways that people communicate their love to each other.

• Physical touch
• Words of affirmation
• Quality time
• Gifts
• Acts of service

Knowing how the special people in your life need to feel emotionally connected to you is important. Discuss these different love languages and communicate honestly with your partner how you need to be loved. Once this need is acknowledged and you are working to communicate openly, your relationship will build trust and not the walls that grow to keep your heart protected.

Don't wait until you are in crisis and believe the love is completely gone. Seek professional help when needed or when you don't know how to rebuild that special relationship.

Best wishes,

Gina

30 Days to Create a New You

Are your New Year resolutions a faint memory? At this time your new healthy behaviors should have become a permanent routine for you. Studies are reporting it takes 30 days of consistency to change behavioral patterns. This is a difficult time consuming process for some individuals. Novelist Arnold Bennett states "Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts." So if you find change difficult to handle you are not alone. Change is the only constant that we have in life so let's learn how to use it to our advantage.

First30Days is an organization that has developed nine principles to help us change and reach our goals.

• Change your point of view. A positive outlook can motivate you to look outside the box.
• Something good will come of the situation you are experiencing that can lead to a brighter future.
• You are stronger than you think. Start with small changes and feel the rewards of success before you take on a more challenging behavioral change.
• Recognize that negative thoughts will hinder your progress and attitude toward success.
• Accept the process of change and do not fight to resist it. Resistance to change is wasted energy.
• You can only control what you think and feel.
• Connect with you spirituality for tranquility and wisdom.
• Let your support system know you need help when your resolve for change weakens.
• When you feel stuck in a rut, any change can help you regain momentum.

So if you have forgotton about those New Year resolutions it might be time to rethink what went wrong and make the changes you need to succeed.

Best wishes,

Gina

Understanding Male Depression

The National Institute of Mental Health reports that 6 million men and 12 million women in America are affected by depression each year. While it may seem that males are less affected by depression, researchers are trying to establish the variables with men and establish appropriate treatment for them.
Male depression may go undiagnosed for several reasons:

• Men are reluctant to discuss depressive symptoms.
• Men see mental illness as a threat to their masculinity.
• Men mask depressive symptoms with alcohol or substance abuse.
• Men resist mental health treatment due to concerns with the stigma that it could damage their career or lose respect of family and friends.

Symptoms of male depression include:

• Violent or abusive behavior
• Escapist behaviors of over involvement in a sport or work
• Inappropriate rage
• Risky behaviors
• Sexual liaisons
• Substance abuse
• Thoughts of suicide

Men are more likely to complete suicide because they use more lethal methods and display fewer warning signs before completing the act. If you have a man in your life that is displaying these symptoms ask him to seek help immediately. Treatment with a doctor or mental health provider can help him learn healthy coping skills to elevate his mood. He may also need the support from medication management. There are many effective treatments for depression so don't think you can tough it out. Seek help and enjoy life.

Best wishes,

Gina