Technology in Relationships

Over the last five years technology has integrated itself as a vital tool in the workplace and at home. This has created difficult boundary issues for couples and families as individuals are constantly available for work concerns or contact from family and friends. It is important for couples to discuss what their viewpoint is on usage of their phones, tablets and computers when spending quality time together.

Establishing boundaries

Technology changes the boundaries of a couple’s life in a new way. Never before did a couple need to discuss what is appropriate to share on Facebook or what could be “tweeted” on other social media networks. Katherine Hertlein author of The Couple and Family Technology Framework states that couples aren’t usually aware of the transgression in the relationship until their partner starts spending too much time online with their old flame who reconnected through a social media resource.

Couples should have a discussion about how they want to manage the technology they have in their home. If there are children, how will their usage be monitored? This conversation can start arguments as every individual will have a different perception of the amount of

 time desired using their technology of choice.

Guidelines

You can start by discussing what each person expects when they are using their technology. For individuals in a relationship each person should share their contact list and allow all communication to be read. It is never appropriate to be anonymous on line or not allow your partner to know who you are talking with unless it is work oriented and confidential. That type of communication should be done in the office only if possible.

The family should establish a place in the home where the electronics are used which is accessible to everyone. This way parents are able to monitor their children’s programs and time limits that are established. Technology is also now a part of traveling in the car. Each family should establish the appropriate rules while driving so that their electronics are used responsibly and safely.

Technology has allowed us to communicate quickly throughout the day but it doesn’t allow the in depth conversations that people need to stay connected. When having an argument it is still best to set aside a time at the end of the day to discuss the concern in person. If that isn’t possible then email is best so that you can have the opportunity to explain the issue with as much detail as possible.