Relationship repair

When your relationship is struggling it’s important to be a participant to resolve the problem and not expect it to fix itself. Robert Sternberg (1990) created the Triangular Theory of Love that discusses the three important building blocks to a relationship. He states that every relationship must have passion, intimacy and commitment. Intimacy is the feeling of closeness that exists between two people. Passion will produce the romance, physical attraction and intercourse for the relationship. Commitment is defined as the conscious decision a couple makes to take the loving relationship further.

Honest dialogue

After being a couple for awhile the passion can disappear. This can create more of a companionate love which can lead to dissolution of the relationship because the commitment is no longer there. If you are feeling an emotional distance from your partner try not to assume or jump to a conclusion of what may be wrong. Pick a time when both of you are relaxed and won’t be distracted or interrupted to discuss the concern. When processing the issue try to be an attentive listener and respond without attacking your partner or engaging in the “blame game”. This can be done by opening the conversation with the positive aspects of the relationship. Then state the concern that you have. Dialogue and restate what you heard to make sure you received the information correctly. Close the conversation with the positive steps that were determined on how to progress forward from the situation.

Moving forward

Repairing a relationship takes time. Once the problem has been identified it is important to create a plan on how to resolve the concern and move forward. A partner should look for opportunities to help without being asked. This displays a commitment to the relationship and states that you are dependable and supportive. Encourage your partner when facing trials. Just listening to their challenges and being emotionally supportive can make a big difference. Learn to respect your partner and each other’s opinion. Finally, acknowledge and accept that there will be times in your relationship to “agree to disagree.”