Tween Co-ed Sleepover

Relationship etiquette continues to change between boys and girls today which can leave parents wondering how to handle this important developmental learning stage. Earlier generations started with birthday parties at Chuck E Cheese that grew to slumber parties with all night games and movies. The biggest concern then was how many friends could be invited to the party. The world of the 21st century child is more complicated. Today’s tweens are requesting pizza parties with co-ed sleepovers. How should parents determine when it is the right time or age to draw the line between the genders?

Pros and Cons

There are two view points to every problem presented. The positive aspect could be that a co-ed sleepover would teach tweens appropriate conduct around the opposite sex. They would learn skills of social interaction other than just sexuality that is involved with dating. They could learn how to handle themselves with issues of privacy when changing clothes or using the bathroom. Tweens could establish boundaries in managing their own bodies and the respect of their peer’s personal space. Children that experience positive interaction between the genders will build confidence with girl and boy relationships that can enhance performance in sports, student government, clubs and class projects.

The negative perspective would be to throw children into a social situation that would deny them their childhood. To appear too casual about a co-ed sleepover could convey the message that sleeping with the opposite sex is done without commitment or sexual protection. This could lead to early sexual promiscuity and other self-destructive behaviors.

Parental decision

Modern children are exposed to sexuality at a young age due to the multitude of media exposure, songs, and books that they read. Society has rushed children into adult behaviors way before their young intellect can comprehend the dangerous issues that could present themselves. Parents are the only stop gate to protect children from perilous situations. Tony Jurich, a former president of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapist says, “Parents first have to decide if this type of party is something that fits with their idea of morality. If they decide it’s something they don’t agree with, they shouldn’t allow it. If they decide it is acceptable, they should take all aspects into consideration and set firm ground rules,” he said.

Deciding whether or not to have a co-ed sleepover comes down to the parents trusting their own ideas of morality and deciding what is best for the healthy social development of their child. Whether you are hosting the sleepover or your tween was invited to one, everyone should be in agreement. This will help to avoid the potential concerns and misunderstandings that might evolve from a controversial idea.