Monday, January 10, 2011

Teaching your children about empathy

Webster defines empathy as "intellectual or emotional identification with another." Developing this emotional intelligence is another skill that some children seem to have a natural insight to when thinking of other people's feelings. Then there are children who have difficulty seeing outside themselves.

On the news we see sports celebrities, politicians and other role models displaying aggression for status or power when in the spotlight. This pattern seems to be a common occurrence when people speak without thought and later extend an insincere apology for their behavior.

Learning empathy

Dr. June Tierney a psychologist at George Mason University explains that the key is going beyond mere words to actually making amends. He wrote: "Both children and adults can be surprisingly clueless about whether and how to make things right. Little kids are overwhelmed by the spilled mess of milk on the floor. Parents can teach and support them to say 'I'm sorry' and to clean it up, maybe leaving the kitchen a little cleaner than it was before."

If you see your child doing something thoughtless or cruel, let them know right away that you do not feel that was an appropriate response. This will help them to understand that their words and actions have the power to insult and hurt other people. Be honest and firm about the behavior without belittling the child. Then take the opportunity to teach them the appropriate response when apologizing for their behavior. We all make mistakes and hurt people unintentionally at times. Modeling empathy and sincere apologies in your daily life will be the best way for your children to learn how to be kind and think of other people's feelings.

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