Thanksgiving and gratitude

Thanksgiving is usually a time when families will reflect on the blessings that they have in their life. Research is reporting that we could all live a healthier lifestyle if we would practice being grateful everyday. University of California Davis psychology professor Robert Emmons' research indicates that, "Grateful people take better care of themselves and engage in more protective health behaviors like regular exercise, a healthy diet and regular physical examinations."

Being grateful

Practicing gratitude leaves people feeling joyful, strong and with more energy. If we can make a conscious effort to find something positive in every situation you can decrease your stress and face the obstacles in life with optimism. Living in the moment and being grateful for what you are experiencing now will give you a better quality of life. To encourage positive thinking, write in your journal 5 to 10 things you are grateful for. Try and acknowledge new experiences each day that brought you joy and peace. Make a conscientious effort to be polite to everyone you encounter. Even a simple "thank you" can make someone's day brighter. If you live away from friends and family that you miss, have pictures displayed to remind you of who matters in your life. Then call that special someone to let them know you are thinking of them.

Self-reflection

Some individuals will limit themselves by experiencing life with a sense of entitlement and being preoccupied with materialism. Self-reflection of your life journey can stimulate awareness of how truly blessed you are and leave you with insight on how to appreciate those around you. So in a time when there are so many people out of work and struggling to pay bills discover the blessings in your life. "If you concentrate on finding whatever is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul." Rabbi Harold Kershner

Holiday planning tips for the special needs child

The holidays are quickly approaching and that will increase demands on our already busy schedules by adding shopping, cooking, and decorating to the list of things to do. The holidays can be an especially stressful time for families that have special needs children. Preparing a child with special needs for the change in routine during the holidays can keep everyone celebrating.

Plan ahead

First make a list of the upcoming activities for your family and determine if your child will be able to tolerate the venture or if it would upset their schedule too much. It may benefit everyone if you only attempt to attend the functions that would cause minimal interruptions to the routine. Review the schedule for each day with your child to relieve any anxiety and anticipation they may feel. Then role play any new social situations to help the child prepare for the event.
You could also practice the social skills needed like taking turns or saying "thank you".

Interventions

If your family plans to travel or have guests at the home create a mini photo album of the people that will attend the activity. You can review the photos frequently helping the child become familiar with their names and faces. Also discuss with your friends and family members how to support your child in new situations. Try to keep routines for bedtimes, naps, meal times the same when possible. When away from home bring along the favorite blankets, pillow, stuffed animals, and night lights that make your child feel safe and comfortable. With a lot of planning and preparation the holidays can be a memorable experience for all of you to enjoy.

Mid-life crisis

People today are constantly seeking happiness in their life. Some people believe that if they purchase a certain item, secure that dream job, or marry that special person, their life will be perfect. Then once that goal is achieved they continue to feel empty inside.

Seeking your purpose

A 2005 study that followed 12,640 middle-aged Hungarians found that those who felt their lives had meaning experienced significant lower rates of cancer and heart disease. "People who feel their life is part of a larger plan and are guided by their spiritual values have stronger immune systems, lower blood pressure, a lower risk of heart attack and cancer, heal faster and live longer," say Harold G Koenig, M.D. professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Duke University Medical Center. Deepak Chopra M.D. author and co-founder of the Chopra Center for Wellness states, "Purpose gives you fulfillment and joy, and that can bring you the experience of happiness."

There is no magic pill for you to take to find your purpose. What you can do is to continue seeking activities that bring you personal joy and fulfillment. Then you will discover your special role or talents for humanity and in turn, that will bring you contentment and happiness.

Surviving Infidelity

Affairs are common and happen for all kinds of reasons. Our culture seems to promote infidelities with the daily news coverage of politicians and celebraties who break their marriage vows. Research shows that men are primarily motivated by the lure of sex while women seek emotional intimacy when having an affair. The National Science Foundation General Social Study (2008) compared data from 1991 to 2006 and found men aged 60 and older had a 28% infidelity rate while women the same age were at 15%. Men under 35 years were at 20% and women at 15%.

Loss of trust

Once the partner has discovered the infidelity their emotions will roller coaster between anger and self-blame. Men view infidelity as a statement about their manhood. They will become angry and have more difficulty moving past the affair. Women feel more violation if the male became emotionally attached to the woman her husband had the affair with. Both individuals must try and make sense of the infidelity and determine if they want to work on their relationship. This means all of the lies must stop and both individuals will have to work through the pain and guilt of the affair. Finally if the couple chooses to move forward they must start by rebuilding trust with each other. Trust in the relationship has been deeply damaged and the couple must communicate honestly about their relationship daily to repair that trust.

Healing

Most couples will need marital counseling to guide them through this process of healing and forgiveness. The violated partner will need to be strong and give the relationship time to heal. Work on nurturing yourself and striving to do things as a couple again. Infidelity is a huge mistake that can be used to evaluate and learn how much you love and value your partner. Only when both partners are committed in the relationship will the marriage be able to survive this violation of trust.

Prepare your child for team sports

Team sports are a classic way to get children active socially and physically with their peers. Not all children are ready or willing to engage in a team sport and would rather choose a solitary activity. The National Institute of Health (NIH) reports that the pediatric neurological maturation process is very complex. The sense of social comparison is not achieved until after 6 years of age and the ability to understand the competitive nature of sports is usually not achieved until 9 years of age. By 12 years of age most children are mature enough to comprehend the complex tasks of sports and are physically and cognitively ready to participate in competitive sports with appropriate supervision.

Developmental guidelines

As the school year progresses there are several team activities that are available to your children. Here are a few suggestions to consider when deciding if your children are ready to engage in a team sport.

• Does he/she display an interest in organized sport?
• Is her/his emotional maturity similar to that of their peers?
• How well does your child accept defeat?
• How well does your child take directions from other adults?
• Is your child large enough and coordinated enough to minimize injury?

For children under the age of 6 years of age a team activity where no score is kept and everyone is a winner is a great way to learn skills. As children grow and mature they will become ready for the more competitive edge that is required. Up until the age of 11 years of age children are still learning how to build friendships, just as they are learning about teamwork.

Try to guide your child toward their interests and strengths. Make sure it is their desire to play a team sport and not an extension of a parent's ego. Sports can be another wonderful learning experience for participants and players alike.

Suicide rate for girls has increased

Federal health officials report in a 2006 study that the suicide rate among preteen and teenage girls rose to its highest level in a decade. This statistic affects girls from ages 10 - 14 years of age. The preferred method of suicide was hanging or suffocation (71%) which surpassed guns. Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death. Every 15 minutes someone tries to take their own life and there are over 800,000 attempts a year.

Warning signs

This is a wake-up call for parents to become more aware of their children's emotional needs and the pressures that they face daily. Dr. Keri Lubell who led the study states, "Parents and other caring adults should look for changes in youth such as talking about taking one's life, feeling sad or hopeless about the future. Also look for changes in eating or sleeping habits, and even losing the desire to take part in favorite activities."

Interventions

The National Center for Disease Control and Prevention is advising that health officials consider focusing on suicide prevention programs for girls 10 - 19 and boys between 15 -19 years of age to reverse these startling statistics. They also suggest that parents monitor or restrict children's access to pills, weapons, or other lethal means of self-harm.

Another important intervention would be to stay emotionally connected to your child by being involved in their school activities, friends, and academics. You can also plan family time together or special outings together to keep your relationships strong. Families that center their life on their faith and church have a strong foundation of love that also helps them endure the trials of life. If you see that your child is struggling and drifting from your family system, you may want to seek professional help as an intervention. Counseling could help your child cope with their anxiety and depression which can bring hope to the whole family.

Family meals nourish relationships

When both parents work outside of the home cooking the evening meal becomes another task to fit into an already busy schedule. Many families are eating on the run or in route to the evening activities for their children. Traditional family meals together are rapidly becoming a thing of the past. This family ritual has been an important bonding time for the family over several generations. It not only teaches your children the proper social etiquette when dining but also encourages healthy eating habits. Studies are also reporting that the children who eat a family meal together are not only engaging in a healthier lifestyle but their grades are better and they also display higher self-esteem.

Creative time management

If planning meals is a time consuming task for your family you may want to try Super Suppers or Make & Take Meals for an option. They both offer different menus each month. You call ahead to schedule your appointment to go in and make your meals. You can usually prepare 12 meals in a couple of hours. Take a helper with you and make it an activity to do with your children or significant other. It can help you save time, stay in your budget and eat nutritious meals. It sounds like a win/win for everyone.