There are numerous reasons why marriages fail. The usual suspects are infidelity, finances, midlife crisis, or just growing apart that lead to the majority of divorces. There is no simple answer to the millions of break-ups that occur every year as each person will have their own unique story to tell………
Negative communication skills
Every marriage will experience unhappiness and conflict which is perfectly normal. It’s not the conflict that is the problem it’s how the disagreement is handled. Nagging is toxic communication to the marriage. Both men and women will humiliate each other until it destroys any memory of what you enjoyed together. When an individual repeatedly attacks and criticizes their partner’s personality rather than the behavior that bothers you an imbalance in the relationship develops and self-esteem is affected. This can include a verbal attack of name calling, cursing, hostile behavior and body language. Attacking your partner in this manner is disrespectful and abusive. You will usually see your partner become defensive and begin to withdraw from communicating with you. This will develop a feeling of resentment and emotional distance in your marriage. Psychologist John Gottman studied over 1,000 married couples and he reports that when these behaviors are present in a marriage there is a 94% chance that the relationship will fail.
Rebuild your relationship
Couples that are caught in a negative communication cycle will feel frustration, anger, fear, hurt, sadness, and alienation. The first step to healing is accepting responsibility for your part of the disagreement. This self examination will lead to profound growth of establishing healthy ways to communicate.
Effective communication isn’t about who is right or wrong. There are always going to be people who disagree with you, people who do things differently or situations that just don’t work out. So choose your battles wisely and decide whether you would like to be kind or right when confronted with a difference of opinion. Then try to become a better listener and don’t respond until your partner has completed their thought. Slowing down your response keeps you attentive to understanding their position instead of defending yours.
Our moods can be deceptive. When you are in a good mood life looks great. You have a more balanced perspective and communication flows easily. In a bad mood life seems unbearable and difficult. A low mood is not the time to argue or analyze your relationship. Life is never as bad as it seems when you are in a low mood. Be grateful for the good times together and graceful when times are more difficult. Try not to take your arguments too seriously as life will continue to move forward even if things don’t go according to your plan. “This too shall pass.”
Monday, August 26, 2013
Thursday, August 08, 2013
Kindergarten Readiness
The concept of kindergarten derived in the 1830’s from a German teacher who believed the children needed a way to transition from home into the school environment. Kindergarten was established as a way to interact and socialize. Children today are socialized at daycare or in pre-school so kindergarten has been restructured to meet the demands of academic readiness in the cognitive and social areas of development.
Readiness to learn
School readiness means that the child has the ability to learn and cope in the school environment without experiencing undue stress. Children should be able to separate from their family and trust the adults in the school environment. They need to understand the concept of sharing and how to take turns when playing with other children. Children should also display some level of social skills in how to resolve problems and work cooperatively with their peers. They must be able to adapt to the structure of the school day and follow the instructions from their teacher.
A real assessment of readiness isn’t based on the chronological age alone. Many schools will do an assessment several weeks before school begins that involve cognitive, linguistic, motor skills and social skills. Children that enter kindergarten with limited baseline skills of reading and math are unlikely to catch up with their peers. Many will need support services that require remedial learning with the help of an aide or tutor. Children that don’t test well will have a re-evaluation three to six months later to assess if a developmental specialist or neurologist should be consulted.
Other considerations
There are many different academic settings to consider when choosing a school for your children. There are public, private, religion based, and Montessori schools. Other determining factors are class size, use of aides in the classroom, and if kindergarten is a full or half-day program. Structural considerations would be the locations of the bathroom, playground and lunchroom where interaction with older students should be limited.
There are many different developmental levels and skills found in the classroom. Teachers are working to meet the diversity, developmental needs and abilities of all children. Children learn best by doing. It allows them to learn through exploration and observation. It can also help them to follow their interests while building cognitive and creative talents. As you determine the kindergarten readiness for your children also seek an environment where they can be engaged and interested in learning for their optimal growth and development.
Readiness to learn
School readiness means that the child has the ability to learn and cope in the school environment without experiencing undue stress. Children should be able to separate from their family and trust the adults in the school environment. They need to understand the concept of sharing and how to take turns when playing with other children. Children should also display some level of social skills in how to resolve problems and work cooperatively with their peers. They must be able to adapt to the structure of the school day and follow the instructions from their teacher.
A real assessment of readiness isn’t based on the chronological age alone. Many schools will do an assessment several weeks before school begins that involve cognitive, linguistic, motor skills and social skills. Children that enter kindergarten with limited baseline skills of reading and math are unlikely to catch up with their peers. Many will need support services that require remedial learning with the help of an aide or tutor. Children that don’t test well will have a re-evaluation three to six months later to assess if a developmental specialist or neurologist should be consulted.
Other considerations
There are many different academic settings to consider when choosing a school for your children. There are public, private, religion based, and Montessori schools. Other determining factors are class size, use of aides in the classroom, and if kindergarten is a full or half-day program. Structural considerations would be the locations of the bathroom, playground and lunchroom where interaction with older students should be limited.
There are many different developmental levels and skills found in the classroom. Teachers are working to meet the diversity, developmental needs and abilities of all children. Children learn best by doing. It allows them to learn through exploration and observation. It can also help them to follow their interests while building cognitive and creative talents. As you determine the kindergarten readiness for your children also seek an environment where they can be engaged and interested in learning for their optimal growth and development.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)