Music Has a Positive Influence on Our Life

School has started again for many children in the state of Kansas and that involves the many choices available on what classes to enroll in. Studies continue to report the positive influence music has on our mind, body and spirit. From the infant to the adult our brain utilizes the harmonic tones to increase our neurophysiological basis. The different types of music we are exposed to can effect our mood, tension and mental clarity.

Here are some of the research facts that I found for you:

• Preschool children given six months of keyboard instruction increased their spatial IQ scores by an average of 46% over other supplemental instruction.
• Human attitudes change with music: hostility, fatigue, sadness and tension decrease with classical and "designer" music, but dramatically increase with "grunge rock".
• College students temporarily improved spatial-temporal IQ scores by 8 - 10 points after listening to Mozart, when compared with relaxation music and no music.
• Plants exposed to classical music flourished while those exposed to rock and heavily percussive music were less healthy and turned away from the source of sound, many finally dying.
• Rats exposed to Mozart music from birth to 60 days old were able to learn mazes over twice as fast as those with no music.

Music is definitely a gift to enrich our lives and minds. So when life gets stressful during the school year take the time to put on your favorite classical choice and relax.

Take care,

Gina

Your Brain and Financial Problems

You may be one of the millions of Americans that overspend to give yourself a momentary emotional lift or escape from the stress you experience in your day to day life. If you have engaged in this impulsive spending habit, you have also discovered that the moment of happiness you received from buying that purchase impulsively has only increased your stress instead of relieving it.

Financial troubles are known to trigger or exacerbate mental health issues such as stress, anxiety, and depression. Financial problems can also be a symptom of many common mental health disorders. Los Angelos psychiatrist Deborah Nadel states that the manic or "high" phase of bipolar disorder, for example, is characterized by impulsive and often self-destructive behavior which can include big shopping sprees. Nadel also said that depression and overspending can be an issue as the individual tries to alleviate their distress with purchases. Feelings of hopelessness can make it difficult to plan for the future or to care whether the bills get paid. The symptoms of adult ADD can also make finances difficult. The impulsivity of purchases can result in a large credit card debt and unpaid bills.

When you decide to make a purchase stop and ask yourself if this purchase is a "need or want". If the purchase is a need then determine how the purchase will effect your budget or current lifestyle. After you have answered all these questions and even researched the product so that you will receive the ultimate quality for your dollar then make the purchase. If you determine your finances are needing professional assistance seek the appropriate resources of consumer counseling for your debt and a mental health professional to help you with identifying and changing the self-destructive behavior.

Best wishes,

Gina

7 Strategies for Raising a Happy Child

Every parent wants to raise a happy child and there are several professional opinions on how to do that. I recently read an article summarizing a book by Edward Hallowell MD a child psychiatrist and author of The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness. He stated that the results from a study with 90,000 teens surveyed stated "connectedness" - - a feeling of being loved, understood, wanted and acknowledged - emerged as the biggest protector against emotional duress, suicidal thoughts, and risky behaviors including smoking, drinking, and using drugs.

The seven strategies he indentifies are as follows:

1. Foster connections and love your children unconditionally.
2. You are not responsible for your children's happiness. Teach your children how to deal with negative situations which will help them to develop coping skills and resilience in life.
3. Nurture your own happiness. Happy parents are likely to have happy children. Make time for your own self-care and nurture the romance in your relationship with your spouse.
4. Praise your children for the effort of trying instead of the end result. This will help them to develop self-esteem and happiness.
5. Allow your child the opportunity to learn new skills to see what they are capable of doing on their own.
6. Make sure your children feel that they are a part of the family by giving them responsibilities at home. Chores keep your children connected and contributing to the family.
7. Teach your children to be grateful for the blessings that they receive each and every day. Keeping a journal and writing goals help them to be optimistic about their future.

Good luck!

Gina

Surviving Divorce

Only 50 percent of marriages survive today. Second marriages have a 60 percent ratio of divorce due to the complications of the blended marriage. This traumatic life change creates a lot of anger and bitterness in its wake. Most families note the time in their life of before or after the divorce. So how do individuals move forward from a divorce?

Many people remain stuck in a bitter, one-sided relationship that consumes their thoughts of how unfair the experience was for them. You will know this individual after conversing with them for a short time. The mantra will be how their ex-partner has ruined their life. It is very difficult to have a relationship with this person as their past negativity stagnates any growth of renewal, change or accepting responsiblity of their part of what went wrong in the relationship.

There are healthy ways to process the loss, grief and pain that you feel from the death of your relationship. First be honest with yourself and take responsiblity for your feelings and your part in the breakup. Then do a self-esteem check and begin to rebuild your own sense of self that may have been lost in the marriage. Develope a support system or seek professional help to redefine your life goals and where you see yourself in the next few years. Find ways to nurture your soul by meditating, journaling, exercise or hobbies that you quit making time for. Find some way to have closure with the relationship. It can be a simple ceremony of removing your wedding ring, burning of photos, or writing a letter to yourself of the loss you feel. This ceremony can represent you leaving the past and moving forward into your new life. Then recognize the opportunities that await you and what a joy life can truly be. It is always a choice of attitude and what you visualize for yourself.

Warm regards,

Gina

Helping Your Children Deal with Stress

As an adult we are constantly balancing our stress between money, work, time with family and relationships. What you may not have thought about is that children have a lot of the same life stresses that an adult has. Today's children have the pressure to do well in school, social pressures of having the right items and belonging in the right click. We also must consider the social pressures of the bully, to look fashionable and display the necessary sexual awareness.

Children can feel pressure in any of these areas, that can trigger stress and the inability to cope with the issue. Unfortunately children communicate their concerns through their behaviors. Here are a few behaviors that you may look for:

• wanting to spend more time alone
• becoming clingy or dependent
• loses appetite to eat favorite foods
• very negative about themself
• avoid attending school or social events
• more negative attention seeking behaviors
• complaints of physical pain

Children learning how to cope with stress need a lot of support. Encourage your children to verbalize their fears and then normalize the situation as they have a tendency to exagerate their fears. Ask how you can support them through this difficult time and brainstorm options that they may try to release the pressure they feel. Teaching your children how to cope with stress is an important skill they will utilize as an adult. Helping them to identify healthy ways to release their stress with exercise, music, writing in a journal, reading or talking to a friend will empower them to search for answers to help themself.

Warm regards,

Gina

Are You Creating a Perfectionist?

There can be several positive traits associated with a person who desires to create perfectionism. Such as neatness, high personal standards, organization skills, and accuracy. The negative side to the perfectionist is the consistent evaluating of self that can be exhausting if you measure your self worth to your accomplishments. If you are setting high standards for yourself and feeling successful then you most likely have enought self-esteem that you are not concerned about the mistakes you make a long the way.

If you are raising children however you may be unknowingly judging them by your own high standards of perfectionism. Expecting children to be perfect clashes with the developmental milestones of explorational learning. This is the time in their lives where they develop their sense of self and strengths by their accomplishments.

Children will see criticism as a withdrawal of the affection they seek from their parents and caregivers. They also cue into statements of dissapointment, body language and sounds of exasperation. To support your children during their developmental years you may want to consider these suggestions. If your child gives their best effort but doesn't win the race, praise their effort and ask them what they would do differently next time. Make it a life learning experience that they can build on at a later time. When they have a long term goal to accomplish such as a research project you might want to help them plan the steps to reach their goal in a timely manner. If they don't follow the plan and leave things to the last minute you might ask them what went wrong and what steps they might take to complete the project responsibly. Empower your children to problem solve their own issues so that they don't depend on you to resolve their problems. This is an important life skills that is vital to their development.

When you question your children about their behaviors and not criticize them they will converse more openly with you about their concerns. That way your relationship doesn't become polarized and defensive. Children need to feel safe and loved on their journey to adulthood or they can become very self-destructive in their pursuit of perfectionism.

Best wishes,

Gina

Shy or Separation Anxiety

There are many types of anxiety that have been determined to have a genetic basis, but it comes back to the age old question of nature-vs-nurture. If a person is genetically predisposed to anxiety they will need to learn ways to cope with the daily situations encountered that may cause anxiety.

Being a parent of a child who is shy or displays anxiety in situations where they are separated from their caregivers can be stressful for both the parent and child. It is important that the parent or caregiver does not transfer their anxiety to the child or become over protective when in social situations. Knowing your child's triggers and preparing them for the experience is a good step to take in helping them learn how to cope with the issue. It is important that the caregiver support the child but not enable them to continue their pattern of distress.

Start with small gatherings that are structured so that your child can build on their small successes. You could attend a story hour, church function, or an activity of interest for your child. You can practice the situation with role plays so that your child can visualize the successful interaction with their peers.

If you don't see any progress after attempting these suggestions you may want to seek a professional for more suggestions. Developmentally your child may out grow these concerns but we all want our children to live a happy childhood. Never hesitate to seek advice when needed.

Best wishes,

Gina