If you are the parent of a shy or anxious child, starting
the school year can be a difficult time for both of you. The child can be excited about the concept of
school but at the same time display fear of leaving the safety of their home. When
the parents become aware of this fear they can become over protective or “helicopter”
parents which can intensify the emotions and escalate the tension.
A step toward
autonomy
It will be important for the parent or caregiver to not
display their anxiety about the concern or become over protective when in
social situations. Knowing your child’s
triggers and preparing them for the experience is a good step to take in
helping them learn how to cope with the separation. It is important that the parent support the
child but not enable them to continue their pattern of distress.
Start with small gatherings that are structured so that your
child can build on their small successes.
You could attend a story hour at the library, church function or trade
childcare with a friend while you run errands.
These short absences will build trust with your child and assure them
that you will return. It will also help
them to build confidence by developing social skills with their peers.
Building confidence
When you enroll your child into school you can show them
where their classroom will be so that they can visualize going to school each
day. Focus on the positive aspects of
returning to school and that you will be there at the end of the day to hear
about the fun that they had while learning.
Most children will out grow these concerns as they establish
a strong sense of self and confidence in their abilities. Their family will always be an important
place of safety through their growth and development to learn the skills for a
happy childhood. Separation anxiety
affects 4 percent of children 6 to 12 years old. If you don’t see progress after attempting
these suggestions you will want to seek the advice of your pediatrician for a
professional referral.
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