Returning to the Dating Scene

Entering the dating scene after being absent for several years can be an intimidating experience. There is now speed dating, online dating and dating consultants that all promise to help the “singleton” find the perfect partner. Dating has become a social science experiment into human behavior and mate selection.  A study from Northwestern University found that men are quicker to like women regarding perceived attractiveness, chemistry and willingness to meet a second time. Surveys taken found that both sexes expected men to exhibit a more assertive approach to initiate a romantic relationship.  Women were counted on to signal the “where” and “when” through eye contact, smiles and hair flips.

Beginning again

Online dating has become a dominate way to meet a potential partner. Google research states that 14% of people who meet online will get married but only 40% of those marriages will last. Also a startling 40% of people listed on dating sites are already married and have families. Even though 33% of all conversations online lead to a date you don’t know if the person has created an honest profile about themselves.

When single parents begin dating they will have other factors to consider when exposing their children to this new experience. The first thing a parent should do is honestly discuss with their child that they are ready to start dating again. Answer any questions they may have with an age-appropriate response.  Delay any introductions to your children until you believe the relationship is ready to move to a more committed level. This can happen after a minimum of eight dates when you have spent time together in a variety of environments. You want to be very sure the person really cares for you and that you seem to share the same life goals. Children will protest if they believe the dating partner is a threat to their time with you.  Listen to their concerns and give them time to adjust to the changes in the relationship.

Be emotionally healthy

Before you start dating again make sure you have healed from the previous relationship.  Research states you should allow approximately 6 months for every 5 years you were together.  Both genders need to think “safety first” and not reveal personal information online until you have had an opportunity to determine if the profile is accurate.  Warning signs to monitor would be if the potential date is unwilling to exchange phone numbers, calls irregularly and reveals zero details about their family or friends.  Schedule to meet your date in a public place, with a friend present if possible and be wary if they ask for any money. This is inappropriate for any reason. Dating again can be an exciting time to rediscover romance if you are cautious while getting to know each other.

 

'Facebook Depression'

Research is now reporting that one in five children go on-line ten or more times a day to interact on the multiple social media‘s available through the current technology today. The impersonal nature of this communication has enabled bullying to escalate, detrimentally effect student academic performance and initiate eating disorders for many tweens. “Facebook Depression” is said to arise from failure to integrate into this social networking world that has become the core of children’s lives.

Social Media

Younger children that are involved in social media have created a new spectrum of developmental questions that science has not yet explored. The American Association of Pediatrics (AAP) is encouraging parents to “face the core issues of bullying, popularity status, social anxiety, risk taking and sexual development” that children are exposed to on these websites. Doctors are also asking that parents understand the current technologies utilized, so they can relate to their children’s on-line world. “A large part of this generation’s social and emotional development is occurring while on the internet and  cell phones,” said Dr. Gwenn O’Keeffe pediatrician and co-author of the AAP report on social media guidelines.

Research indicates that excessive internet use is associated with depression. Clarification is still needed to determine whether depressed people are drawn to the internet or if the internet causes depression. Children with poor self-esteem are likely to feel sad if they don’t measure up to their friends tallies, status updates and photos of happy-looking people. “Facebook Depression” symptoms are similar to clinical depression with children displaying irregular sleep patterns, changes in eating habits, mood swings and social isolation from family or friends.

Positive aspects

Monitored appropriately, social media’s can be utilized to build communication and the technical skills needed in today’s society. Technology is a great way for parents to facilitate communication, nurture entertainment interests and engage in educational curiosity with their children. Teach children to protect their privacy and reputation while using the internet. Let them know you’re their ally if subjected to cyber bullying. Finding the appropriate balance in your life will be the key for success.

 Most adults realize that the most valuable friendships have been developed face-to-face rather than over a computer keyboard. Families should unplug at times when technology isn’t needed like at meal time, family events or riding in the car together. That way you can truly engage in conversation while sharing the highlights of your day. This connection can teach children the value of real friendship and family support by making time for each other daily.