Friday, May 21, 2010

Take control of your stress

Balancing your family's needs will always bring more stress into your life than you want. Many people today face long hours at work, financial pressures and problems with spouses and children. This stress will release chemicals into your body that affect every cell within you.

There are five simple techniques that you can learn to keep a clear mind, body and spirit.
Here is how to take control:
  • Just breathe. Stop and take two or three deep breathes whenever you are feeling anxious and overwhelmed. Fill your diaphragm completely and releaBoldse the cleansing breath slowly. This small act will release parasympathetic chemicals in your body that will leave a calming effect for you.
  • Think positive. Whenever we stop to think about all the blessings in our life and how grateful that we are for our gifts we send a chemical message throughout our body that life is good. Close your eyes and visualize what is endearing to you and breathe. The experience can change your life.
  • Slow down. It seems we are always multi-tasking and making lists to complete everything that we feel is important to do. Try going for a walk or getting some type of exercise for 30 minutes to release your stress in a positive way. That list will still be there and you will feel more refreshed and ready to tackle it when you return.
  • Love yourself. We all make mistakes, but sometimes we are very hard on ourselves when we make them. Support yourself by taking responsibility for your choice and then make a plan on how to move forward.
  • Let it go. There will be times in your life when you need to recognize that you cannot change the situation. You will need to release it to your belief system, or high power and then move forward. Dwelling on the issue will not change the results. Learn from the experience and do your best not to repeat the mistake.

Sometimes just breaking from your daily routine by planning lunch with your spouse or a friend can help revitalize you. Wichita has several spas where you could get a massage to pamper yourself or schedule an appointment to get your hair and nails done. Taking care of your emotional well-being can seem like a full time job sometimes, but the benefits can be a better quality of life for you and your family.

Friday, May 07, 2010

Life after loss

The death of a loved one is life altering. The transition from wife to widow, husband to widower can be a very difficult one. As in any loss, the death of a spouse brings feelings of depression, erratic moods, disrupted sleep and obsessive thoughts about the deceased. This can be happening while being overwhelmed with questions and urgent decisions that need to be made.

Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross (1969) introduced the "Five stages of Grief". People can experience these stages during any major life changes such as loss of job, health, relationship, pet or financial stability. The individual and family will progress through the stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance in their own way. There is no specific way to grieve. Each person will experience grief based on their culture, social and personal beliefs. Their personal relationship with the deceased person will also impact the bereavement.

The survivor must give themselves permission to grieve. Postponing your time to mourn will only delay and compound your grief reaction. Your reaction to the death from unexpected or anticipated circumstances can make you experience a wide range of emotions from shock, numbness, pain and anger. Grieving is full of ups and downs like a roller coaster. Special events like a wedding, birth, or holiday can trigger a strong emotional response, but difficult times will become less intense and shorter as time goes by.

It's important not to grieve alone. Use the support of family and friends. Draw comfort from the faith you practice. Join a support group or speak with an experienced counselor. Suppressing your grief can lead to depression, anxiety, substance abuse and other health concerns. Grief can affect your health so maintain your self-care with the appropriate rest, proper nutrition, regular exercise and physical check-up with your doctor.

You will have good and bad days with moments of joy or happiness. Life has a way of throwing moments our way that can wake us to the possibilities of a better tomorrow. If you need support during your time of bereavement contact a counselor, pastor or a grief support group for the help you may need.